✔️Be With You || Beyoncé • Jay Z

💋 Chapter Forty One

Rehearsals. One thing I'm serious about is my performance. I don't want anyone or anybody screwing up the whole show. I want everything to be precise, planned and perfect, especially if I'm performing in front of a hundred and fifty thousand people. Glastonbury will be one of the highlights of my career and not even me, being pregnant, will stop me from performing.

A month ago, I was at a fancy hotel where I was temporarily staying because I was about to perform at the Billboards Award. After hours and days of rehearsing, the sickness wouldn't just go away so I had to call Dr. Brenner about what I was feeling and she suggested that I should get a pregnancy test to make sure. Hearing her say that, I felt happy but at the same time nervous. I'm trying to get over the last time and I think it's working. So, I had to call Angie to get me a pregnancy test and let me tell you, she was excited more so than me. I tried the three tests she bought me and all of them came positive.

After that, I came to my laptop and vented like it's my therapy; well it's a therapy for me. It just keeps me sane.

"It's 3.30 in the morning, just finished the rehearsal for Billboard Awards and I was feeling really nauseous. It actually been happening for weeks now and... I just had a feeling last week that something was going on, so I had Angie, my cousin to go get me some pregnancy tests and I found out that," I paused and took a deep sigh before continuing.

"I'm with a child."

I chuckled. "I don't know what God is trying to prepare me for, because I know everything in my life is for a reason, but wow. Really? This is crazy!" I sighed and rubbed my head, then finally looking back to the camera. "We'll see what happens in the next chapter of my life because there is so much going on."

The next day I told my mom about it and she was so happy. She was so excited about it. She told me how much she couldn't wait to be a grandma, I told her to not put her hopes up because I don't want to offend her if I miscarried again. Once again, I told myself to be positive because I need that energy to be able to get through this and deliver this baby safe and sound. The following day, I told Jay.

"You're... You're pregnant?" He said looking at the pregnancy test I'd given him. I was fiddling with my finger while biting my bottom lip, waiting for his reaction. I looked at him, still wasn't be able to see his reaction. I was getting nervous and suspicious. He doesn't sound like happy at all.

I frowned. "Y-Yeah. W-We can be a family now. Just like we wanted us to be." I smiled and looked at him, still waiting for his answers. "I found out the other day and told my mom first, she was so happy about it and she couldn't wait to be a grandma. Then I told you and I---"

I was cut off by his lips being on mines. He wrapped his arms around and spun me around and Lord, I never held to him that tight. He put me down and kissed me multiple times and I just smiled at him. The thought of him, not wanting the baby would be selfish so I'd put that away from my mind. He was just as happy as I am, as my mother, maybe more than happy.

"Beyoncé," I heard and I was back in the reality, cutting my thoughts off. "You're three months pregnant and you're starting to show. I can't let you preform out there."

I shook my head. A lot of people have been telling me not to perform because I'm pregnant. "For the hundredth time, I will not cancel any performances just because I'm pregnant!" I exclaimed, standing up from my chair. I saw everyone how they are looking so I cleared my throat and sat back.

"Y'all know I can't cancel this." I started, "This will be one of the highlights of my career and I would never pass that opportunity and give that away to someone who clearly don't deserve it." I said standing up and heading towards the door. I felt eyes on me but I didn't care.