A Reverse World

Maybe It'll Be Okay

Authors note- Happy New Year everyone!! Sorry, I've been gone for months but I'm hoping to start this year of well and continue this story. It has just been super stressful and since i turned 16 I've been busier then ever, but bare with me! We'll get there. Lots of love!♡

"Ryan, I like you too-"

Oh no, did I actually say that? Am I moving too fast? What if he was kidding and it's all just the heat of the moment thing? Oh gosh, how could i be so dumb!?

I took a deep breath, looking up at Ryan again. It feels like we haven't spoken in hours, yet its been less then a minute. I mean after everything that has happened, my feelings for him have been hidden for years.

Every since I was a little girl playing in the street I knew I was different. Ryan being in my life continued to prove that fact. While every other girl was chasing the other girls and being able to speak with the boys so naturally, I was nervous. My stomach felt weird when I first met Ryan. I was scared. It was almost like he had this heavenly glow to him, but I was young. I grew up trying to push these feelings away as stupid childish feelings, because I had it drilled in me that if I was straight I would go to hell and I didn't want that. As I matured though, I developed my own opinion. Maybe that's why I'm stuck in here with Ryan in this moment.

But reality is slowly sinking in. What would we do if we were to build off of these confessions? That doesn't matter though if I'm not good enough again.. I can't jump too fast. Not with the way things went with Liz..

"Ryan, I'm sorry I just-"

"Stop." Ryan interrupted me. "I know where you're head is going. You don't have to panic or let your anxiety take over. Its okay. It's all a little surprising, but come on Vi. Its been 15 years of you and me. Nothing is gonna suddenly change that.

I smiles ever so slightly, and nodded. I closed my eyes as exhaustion was finally catching up to me. The feeling of his warmth against my cold body was one of comfort. Suddenly I was drifting into the darkness of sleep as I could hear the mellow rhythm of his heart beat.

***************

I woke up the following morning to bright sun beating down on my face through the curtains. I stretched out, reaching over to grab my phone when it all came back to me. The chaotic events that went down last night. The confessions, heartbreak, tears. Oh gosh the tears. All of it. I sighed knowing i couldn't avoid it.

Slowly, I typed in the name I tried to make my forever. I'd have to change my password later. Immediately multiple messages and missed calls appeared from Elizabeth. I pushed them all away jot ready to hear from her yet. The next messages I saw was from Ryan. I couldn't help but smile as I opened it.

Ryan😊❤: hey beautiful. Just wanted to say good morning and i hope you have a wonderful day. If you need anything at all don't hesitate to call or just stop by. I'll be over at 12 to pick you up for our normal Saturday afternoon. See you soon (:

He has always been the person I wake up and fall asleep to a text form, but today it just seemed different. After falling asleep in his arms and knowing things now, it just felt different. I mean sure nothing has actually happened yet, and I'm scared after what happened with Liz. It just will take time.

Suddenly a knock was on my door.

"Violet are you there? " oh gosh. I know that voice. My body tenses up in response.

"Go away Elizabeth"

"Violet, open up. Please, I want to talk to you."

"No way, Liz. Besides, what's there even to talk about?"

"I just want to explain. You ran out last night without giving me a chance. Please Vi.." She sounded so desperate.. I can't though, I won't.

"You hurt me. Why do I have to be the one who understands?"

"Look I was going to tell you about Rachael, but I couldn't hurt you. You were just so clingy, sweet and innocent. I didn't want to break that, but I was losing interest in you. She was a one night fling that turned into something more. You're name just wasn't the one to make me smile anymore. As our anniversary came up I just couldn't seem to find when to tell you. I just-"

"Do you hear yourself? You sound like an idiot! How did you sleep at night!? How long Liz, how long was I so oblivious."

"I- 5 months.." That's when it all hit me.. The tears became an unstoppable force. My heart couldn't comprehend it anymore.. How could I have been so dumb as to not notice?

I heard my door open slowly and the sound of footsteps entering my room. "Go away, Liz. I never want to see you again!"

"Well its a good thing I'm not her, right?" I look up and see Ryan's sweet face looking at me with worry.

"Oh.. I'm sorry I just.."

"Shh it's okay. I heard it all. I came over to come see if you were ready, but she was up hear so I waited. After awhile i couldn't take it and told her to leave. Why don't you clean up a bit and we will go talk over some ice cream?"