Stop thinking 2jae// Sope

Ch.9

Happy new year. 🌸🎉

Jaebum POV

I'm seriously going to kill him. He was one brat. Why am I even friends with him?
I sighed deeply and looked at the guys around me. Obviously I think Youngjae is the most handsome Person in here. No matter where he is he is everything. The cutest. The most adorable. My sunshine. Hell, don't let me start with his sexiness. His body really got -

"Can you hurry up?", my thoughts got cut by no other than Yugyeom.
I rolled my eyes at him.

How can I get out of this situation without getting too obvious?
I looked at Mark- searching for help but he just shrugged and smiled apologetic.
Well.

"If you excuse me. I'm going to use the Bathroom.", I said and slowly got up.
Great Jb, that totally wasn't obvious.

Why couldn't I just kiss Youngjae and continue this damn game? I mean, it's not like we haven't kissed each other before.
Well, I always avoided dares that had something to do with Youngjae.
I entered the Bathroom but soon enough found myself in Youngjaes Room. I've been here way too often to not know where everything is. I opened the window and leaned against the frame.
I let out a deep sigh and kinda got lost in my thoughts. So lost that I didn't hear the door open and didn't feel the new presence in the room. Well, that was until the presence started to speak.

"What's wrong?", I heard a soft voice asking. An ever so soft voice. A voice I could recognize everywhere.

"Nothing, Youngjae.", I said a bit too harsh.
I turned around and there he was. Such a beautiful creature. Even though I saw all his 'flaws' he is still the most beautiful person to me. He always was. Always will be.
It's disgusting how deep in love I'm with him.

"You are a bad Liar.", he smiled and sat down on his bed, signalling me to join him. I slowly sat down next to him and we sat there a while in a comfortable silence. Until I heard him clear his throat.

"Now tell me."

I turned my body a little in order to look him into his brown eyes.
Isn't this the perfect moment to confess? This is probably the 30th time I said this to myself.

"You don't think anyone of us is handsome enough to get a kiss from Mr.Im ?", he laughed lightly.

"Well, I'm not really into kissing to be honest.", I spluttered out. Wrong way to confess. The heck am I doing?

He raised his eyebrow in confusion. He looked like he was trying to think of something usefull to say.
Before I could correct myself I heard him burst out into laughter. Well, and because it was his typically loud laugh I couldn't help myself but to join him.

"What? First you're attracted to both genders. Now you're not interested in kissing? Seriously, Bummie, what are you?", he asked in between his laughter.

Not gonna lie. I hated the name "Bummie" but for some reason my heart always started to beat a bit faster whenever Youngjae used this name. Maybe because he rarely did it. Or maybe just because it was him.

"I'm not really attracted to men.", I said after he stopped laughing.

I received another confused look.

"So you're heterosexual?", he asked. It was the only logically conclusion but no. (Miss me with that straight shit.)

I nervously scratched my head and took a deep breath.
Come on, Jb, you can do it.

"No. I'm not really attracted to woman either.", I mumbled.

"So.... you're not attracted to people at all?"

"I am attracted to .... people?"

"Is that a question? Because I seriously don't get whats going on... you're not attracted to men neither are you to woman? OH, I read about this on the Internet. Maybe you're Asexual? No, this was something different... what was the name again? Intersexual? No. Wait I'll look it up.", he nervously searches for his phone and soon got it out of his pocket.

"No, Jae. It's fine. I'll explain it to you. It's just a bit hard for me you now?", I whispered but it was loud enough for him to hear it. He slowly nodded and put his phone back down.

And here we were. Sitting in front of each other. My heart was beating like crazy. I looked up and saw him starring at me. Not judging or anything. He smiled at me and took my hands in his. His thumb was rubbing over my hands back and this really helped me to calm down a little.

"Don't worry, Bummie. I'm here and I'll always stay, okay?"

God, I love him so much.

"Well, the thing is. I don't really know what my sexuality is. I slept with girls and I liked it but I also slept with boys and I liked that as well, but it never felt complete... and I'm well aware why it never felt right. I never loved one of my partners. Never have I ever loved someone whom I slept with. I kinda used them because I didn't want to deal with my feelings, Jae.
There is only one person I love. One person who is always in my head.  One person who I feel completed with. I'm not attracted to one gender because I'm only attracted to this person. This sound so childish right?", I mumbled. No longer able to look into his eyes.

I almost stood up and was ready to forget this conversation until I felt his warm hands on my cheeks. Forcing me to look up and into his eyes again. He gave me a smile again and rubbed his thumb again. This time on my cheek. Ever so softly.

"No way is this childish. You're in love. And that's nothing to be ashamed of. Please continue."

"I'm in love. More like I'm obsessed with this person. Seriously Youngjae. I've never saw a person this beautiful. And futhermore this person has such a kind heart. I've never met someone who put other people always before themselves. This person deals with so much but is still able to give people who suffer a warm smile and a hand to hold on to. This person makes me so soft it's disgusting.
You know. I'm only attracted to this person. To this person right in front of me."