Part of Me

12

12

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"I'm not afraid of scars, be them emotional or otherwise. I think it builds character, and if it doesn't destroy you, I truly believe it makes us stronger."
-Nathan Parsons

"SPILL!" Mary squealed.

"Ah, ear drums, Mar."

She rolled her eyes. "Who cares about eardrums?! You've finally started socializing. Ugh, they grow up so fast." She wiped a nonexistent tear off her face.

"Hey, I socialize."

"Yes, and I'm BigFoot."

Beatrice giggled and I looked down at her with an eyebrow raised. "Is Mary BigFoot?"

"Stop avoiding it. Spill!" Mary exclaimed.

"Yeah," Beatrice said, looking at me seriously. "Spill."

Chuckling, I said, "Only for you, B." I looked back up at Mary, letting Carter off of my back so we could all just walk. "He dragged me—very much against my will—to the courts, saying some bull about me needing to be a normal teenager. Nothing happened, so stop giving me that expression, Mar. I just sat with Micah and did my work until the end. I didn't even really talk to anyone on the team besides Cayden and Micah."

Without warning, Mary started squealing and jumping up and down to the point that Beatrice let go of her hand and ran over to me.

"Mar, calm down! Nothing happened, why are you freaking out?"

She stopped jumping and all of her excitement trickled away into shock. "Isn't it obvious?" I gave her a look, telling her that whatever was obvious to her was certainly not jumping out at me. "He likes you, Devyn! The boy has a crush, he's infatuated with you, he thinks your cute, he—"

"I get your point!" I interrupted, unable to take any more. "Mary, he does not like me. I have no idea where you got that from, but—"

"Devyn, he's still watching us walk away and I have a feeling he won't look away until we—sorry, you—are out of sight. He likes you, Devyn. I don't know if he knows that yet, but he does."

What? How can someone like someone without knowing it?

He really cares about you, Micah had said. So? Even if he did care about me, that didn't mean he liked me. Besides, why would he? My life was a shitshow, I was a mess. Definitely not at a high point in my life. I was still emotionally wrecked from Adam, I couldn't really take Cayden or anyone else liking me. Stop, a voice in my brain told me. Cayden doesn't like you. Mary's wrong.

"You're wrong, Mary. Cayden doesn't like me. Why would he? He doesn't even know anything about me."

"Yes, because you made it that way. Every time anyone outside our little bubble of abuse tries to get close to you or wants to get to know about you, you shut down. Don't do that, Devyn. Cayden obviously cares about you, but I've seen the way he looks at you and the way he pays attention to you, and it's not in the friend sort of way." Before I could even think about disputing what she said, she glared at me and continued. "And what do you mean why would he? You can't be that oblivious!" I gave her a questioning look and she sighed exasperatedly. "What the hell am I going to do with you? Honestly, Devyn, you are totally blind to how amazing you are. You're gorgeous and smart, despite what you think, and funny and one of the most caring people I have ever met. Don't let Jason and Diane dictate how you think of yourself. Just because they're psychopaths doesn't say anything about you or who you are. Cayden or anyone would be lucky to have you in their lives."