Part of Me

11

11

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"Holding onto anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die."
-Buddha

TURNING to Cayden, I smiled and said, "Thanks for the ride." I managed to convince him to drop me off at the middle school campus because I needed to pick the kids up anyway. If Jason or Diane saw him dropping us off, it wouldn't end well for any of us.

He nodded, his face grim. I knew that he was frustrated that I still hadn't told him. I was frustrated. Why couldn't I just say it? I'd long since accepted everything, why couldn't I just tell him?

"Anytime," he said, his gaze going past me and to something out the window. "You really care about them, don't you?"

I glanced at what he was looking at. Mary was holding Carter, spinning him around and around so fast it was making even me dizzy. Beatrice was watching them, giggling so hard she was clutching her stomach, screaming that it was her turn next. Just looking at the carefree sight of them made me want to laugh, and I felt my heart and body become lighter.

He turned back to me. "More than anything. See ya."

I got out, only for him to say, "Hey." I bent down to look at him again. "You know you can trust me, right? I'll never hurt you."

Had he asked me that last week, I would've said no, that I didn't trust him at all, but after what he just told me, I couldn't bring myself to lie. "Yeah, I know. Thanks, Cayden." With that, I flashed him a small smile—the widest I could manage, really—and shut the door.

"Who was that?" Mary asked when I came over to them.

"Cayden. He gave me a ride today. Are you guys ready to go?"

Beatrice nodded vigorously and grabbed onto my hand before latching her other to Mary's. "Swing me!" she exclaimed.

"Someone had a good day," I commented, but we started swinging her nonetheless.

"Did you?" Carter asked. He was hanging onto Mary's other hand, which was proving to be quite difficult for her, but hilarious for the rest of us.

I chuckled. Carter was the only six year old boy who was that thoughtful and mature. "Yeah, I guess I did." Mary quirked an eyebrow at me. She knew that I had told Cayden to stay away from me, therefore she was probably expecting me to be in a terrible mood considering he dropped me off. "Tell you later," I whispered.

"You better," she mumbled.

• • •

I looked at the clock again, letting out a frustrated sigh. He knew I wasn't mad at him anymore, why wasn't he showing up? Granted, he was only ten minutes late, but still. My grades needed him to be on time. Was he mad at me because I didn't tell him? No, he's not that petty, I told myself hopefully.

I glanced helplessly back at my notes. They were mocking me. None it made any sense! What the hell was cognitive dissonance? And who the fuck needed Physics? Not me.

"Oh, thank God," I uttered as he came rushing in. "I thought—" My eyes widened when he began shoving all of my schoolwork into my bag. "Cayden, what are you doing?! That's my homework! No, don't crumple it!" He laughed, the sound oddly assuaging, and swung my bag over his shoulder. "Okay, what's going on? Are we studying somewhere else today?"

"No."

"No? Then give me my stuff back!"

He shook his head. "No can do, Princess. I'm playing basketball with the guys today and you're coming with me." I opened my mouth to protest, but he beat me to it. "It's not an optional trip. You can do homework there, if you really want, but you're coming." I glared at him. "Devyn, when's the last time you did anything or went anywhere just for fun?"