Deal With It

forty

Chapter 40

My ears perked up when I heard the loud siren of the ambulance. The next few minutes were a complete blur and before I knew it, Tyler was torn away from me.

I could feel all eyes on me as I was practically pulled out of the building, walking slowly behind Tyler who had expertly been lifted onto a stretcher.

The police were busy trying to evacuate everybody off Gabriel's front lawn rather than finding out who was behind this attack. They were failing though. As they sent people away, more and more began to gather after being informed of what had happened here at 27 Chapel Close.

I felt sick, I felt disgusted when the crowd pulled out their mobile phones and began to take pictures and record videos. This wasn't a show. This was real. Someone had been shot but all these people cared about was being the first one to deliver the story on Snapchat, get the most retweets on Twitter or have the highest number of likes and shares on Facebook because this was a rare event. In our town, these things didn't happen a lot did they? This was entertaining for them. It added some excitement into their normally dull and boring lives.

I wanted to scream. I wanted to shout. I needed to tell them all to stop pushing and shoving each other just to get a better view. I needed to tell them that what they were doing was wrong. Completely wrong. But I couldn't. It was impossible for me to utter one word, never mind form a complete sentence. I didn't have the energy to raise my voice. My throat burned and my mouth felt parched. Right now, it seemed to me like I would never be able to say a word again.

I was consumed by one overwhelming emotion.

Fear.

I had never been so scared before. There was a terrible feeling building in the pit of my stomach and it wouldn't leave me alone. It ripped and tore at my insides. Instead of ceasing to exist, it kept growing and exacerbated with every second ticking by. It was tormenting me.

A thick piece of fabric was thrown over my shoulders but I didn't look up to acknowledge who it was. I hadn't noticed how cold and dark it had become until now. I didn't even care.

My eyes remained on one person. Tyler was placed into the back of the ambulance and I climbed inside with him. I would stay right next to him throughout it all. After all, we promised to start this new year together and I wasn't one to break a promise. Neither was he. We would face this together and make it through, strengthening our relationship forevermore.

I stayed absolutely silent and still on the quick journey to the hospital which actually felt like hours. The paramedics shouted things to each other and tried to do whatever they could to help Tyler until we reached the care of a professional doctor. I didn't allow them to move my hand from Tyler's and brushed my thumb across his open palm, selfishly trying to calm my nerves rather than comforting him.

He probably didn't even know that I was there. The thought of that stung. It stung incredibly. In the most vulnerable, the most defenceless place. The place that was the easiest target. After everything with Jason, all the heartbreak, which thinking back on was nothing compared to this, I had began to build up walls and cage my heart from having to face that again. But Tyler broke those walls down before they had barely gone up, and he crawled into my life. No, he walked right into it. He made space for himself inside my heart and unlike with Jason, it was a space that would always remain his and would only expand with time, not diminish.

I hated myself. I should never have argued with Tyler. Ever. I should have made the most of every single moment because you never really know when someone can be taken away from you. And when they are, it is the most painful thing in the entire world. Nothing could hurt more.