He kissed my neck again. Lightly bit my ear lob, I smiled and said,
“Babe,” I said and started making his way down my body. I let out a little moan.
“Do you like that babe?” he said.
“Stop baby,” he looked up at me,
“Why baby?” I said,
“Just please,” he stopped and he came back up and laid next to me.
He stroked my face and smiled. I kissed him and he said,
“Babe I want us to last,” I smiled and said,
“So do I babe,” he smiled and said,
“No I mean I don’t us to be on off anymore.”
“Neither do I,” he smiled and took my hand,
“So we have to be honest,”
“I know babe,”
“So can I ask you something,”
“Yeah…” I was worried.
“Since year seven, have you ever liked or done anything with anyone else?”
“One person,” I looked at him, “Have you, other than Lola?”
“A few,”
“Who?” I asked.
He looked away and I sat up and said,
“Babe?” he looked at me,
“I’m sorry,” I looked at him,
“What’s wrong baby?”
“I can’t keep lying to you baby, but I can’t hurt you,”
“Let’s be completely honest now and then move on,”
“You sure?” I nodded,
“Yeah,” he kissed me.
He sat up and took hold of my hands. I smiled and said,
“Do you want to start?”
“Um… I’m scared baby,” he looked down.
“After we broke up the first time after we slept together I was really upset, I really love you and you broke up with me four days after we slept together. I thought I’d done something wrong in bed because of how you broke up with me and I actually cry. When I got the text I was with Alex well he comforted me. Well we started spending loads of time together and then we got off at his house.”
“Alex?” he said, “Alex as in my cousin Alex?”
“I’m sorry babe,”
“You got off with my fucking cousin?”
“I’m sorry baby, it meant nothing it showed me how much I love you,”
He didn’t say anything; he didn’t even look at me. He still had hold of my hands and I gripped them really hard and he stroked my hands and said,
“You know about me and Lola. But Colleen and me went all the way three weeks after we broke up. Then a week later I slept with Courtney, Hayley, Ocean, Abby and Remany.”
“What?!” I asked. I felt sick. My heart sunk.
“I’m sorry I was mad!” I looked at him and broke down crying. He hugged me.
“Get off of me!” I screamed pushing him away.
“Baby!” he said.
I grabbed his top and ran out my room. I went into the bathroom and locked the door. I put his top on. How could he do that? I made out with Alex and felt physically sick for doing that to Anthony, but he was able to sleep with seven other girls.
I sat down and leant against the door. I hugged my knees and cried. He doesn’t’ care as much as he said! He doesn’t love me! I’m not good enough! I knew I’d never be good enough! I hate myself!
