30 Days Marrying You

chapter 35

( Sorry for keep you waiting )

It was raining when Jessica arrived home. Surely, it wasn't an omen, just inevitable, she tried to assure herself.

Darkness welcomed her as she opened the door. She switched on all the light and started checking from the kitchen. When she looked at the kitchen, she was shocked to see the disarray state of the kitchen.

But there was no time to care about some messy kitchen. She needed to find Xavier .

"Xavier ?" she called out. Silence answered her call.

She scanned through the living room. When she was sure Xavier wasn't there, she went to the bedroom. Empty. No sign of people. She almost believed Xavier wasn't here. Just as she wanted to walk out of the room, she noticed the door to the balcony was opened. The wind was flapping the curtains. She didn't remember leaving it open before.

She walked forward, but stopped near the sliding door as she felt the water blown by wind touched her skin. She flipped the curtain and the water splashed and soaked her as she stood by the door. She forgot it was raining outside.

She glanced around and there he was, sitting in a corner, knees pulled up under his chin.

She walked slowly and knelt beside him. "Xavier ?" she called, leaning forward as she peered at him.

He didn't move. She couldn't see his face, only his hair hung limp and soaked around his face, his shirt too was dripping wet.

"What are you doing here? It's cold."

She grabbed his wrist and literally pulled him back into the room. He just obeyed and followed her lifelessly, without objecting. Then she walked to the balcony again and closed the door.

As she turned around and faced him again, Jessica hesitated. No longer curled in on himself, Xavier leaned against the bed frame, staring into air. Words seemed to clot and dissolve in her throat as she watched him. She couldn't be kind to him after what he'd done, couldn't be cruel to him after what she' done, couldn't forget his fury or his pained face or the truth presented by Emily and Charlie earlier.

Then she realized that he was watching her.

"I wanted to leave. I wanted to forget everything. I wanted to forget my responsibilities, grandma, everyone. Yet, I can't forget you." Xavier chuckled humourlessly. "Pathetic, right?"

It would be easier if she was as smooth at talking as Emily. It would be easier if she was as confidence as charlie. She had millions things to say to Xavier right now but the words seemed to disappear into the thin air.

Then, he looked in her eyes. "What now? Why are you here? Didn't you leave?" He paused and looked away. "Are you here to remind me that your 30 days are almost up? Did you forget to ask for divorce?"

She froze. "What?"

It was getting more difficult to speak. And he wasn't making it easier too.

"If that's what you want, then, let's divorce," he said coldly, trying to hide his own sadness.

'If this will make you happy, I will do it even if my heart is hurt. Because all I want to see is your smile.' Xavier had his hands in tight grip to hide the fact that they were shaking.

Then, he had his eyes shut tightly. "Go ahead. Yell at me. Cuss at me all you want. Then, run away to place where I can't hurt you anymore."

Jessica had a feeling that if she didn't say anything, Xavier would slip away from her. He would go further away from her.
And the chance to mend their relationship would go down the drain. She was suddenly terrified that she would never have another chance to be with him again. What he was saying was kind of sounded like... goodbye.