30 Days Marrying You

chapter 30

(A/N: i know it's been so long since i updated & i'm truly sorry , i had some issues but its ok now , hope u like this update )

"I love you, Jessica. Always. Can't you fall in love with me too?"

Jessica opened her mouth, as if wanting to say something but he stopped her. He wasn't finished yet.

"I love your always honest smile, your strong gaze, your hair, your devil-may-care attitude, your angry face... and I have always, always, been in love with you," Xavier continued on his confession. The confession he didn't get to fully express the last time he confessed.

Jessica listened, speechless and wide-eyed. She knew he was waiting for her reaction, but she couldn't talk.

She saw him closing his eyes.

"Rest. We will talk later," she said quietly.

Silence filled the big room then. Jessica stayed beside the bed, watching him sleep. In fact, she couldn't leave. Xavier was still holding her hand tightly.

The silence gave her room to think. To evaluate things. Of her own feeling. She dug around inside herself, trying to register love, anger, hate for the sleeping man. She found only mystery. More and more mystery.

Since when did he fall in love with her? What made him love her? If he did love her, why he never showed, or even confess about it?

He paused at the door, hand on the knob, and turned to look at her. His eyes looked more tired than angry now. "Wanna know why I hid my feeling for you?" He asked.

She shook her head.

He didn't seem to notice. "Because I always believe to love is to lose," he told her, and left. The door closed behind him with a decided click, and Jessica was alone.

She remembered. He said to love is to lose.

She tried to think of people he had lost. His parents. Who else? But no matter how hard she tried to think of somebody else, no one came to mind. Then, she realized, how so little she knew about him, about his life.

There was no clue to peel off all the mysteries surrounded him. She immediately realized, she was being so selfish all this time. She decided it was not important to know more about him.
All this time, she tried to hate him for all the pain he gave her. Never did she try to understand the reason beneath his actions.

She gazed at Xavier' sleeping face. There was a trace of sadness there. Jessica touched his cheek.

"Xavier," she whispered. "What are you thinking? I want to know you better. I want to understand you. Won't you tell me all of your worries, what had been going through your mind?"

She didn't know, whether by wanting to know more about someone could be counted as love or not. One thing she did know, she didn't want Xavier to disappear from her side. Ever.

"How are you feeling now?" Jessica asked after coming back from the kitchen.

Xavier took a deep breath before answering Jessica's question. "Better."

He just had chicken soup made by Jessica. Of course, it was much safer and much delicious than the one made by Daniel . He also had his medicine. Jessica had been patiently tending to his health since he woke up that day.

Xavier moved, trying to get up. Jessica helped him to stay in sitting position on the bed.

"Where did you sleep last night?" Xavier asked after he was comfortable with his position.

Jessica hesitated a bit. "Sofa," she lied. She couldn't tell him she was sleeping beside the bed while watching him sleep, couldn't she?

Xavier managed a nod. "I'm sorry." His voice was low.