Breaking our rules - Desus

PROLOGUE

Jesus sat right up in bed, staring with big open eyes into nothing.
A man laid on his stomach next to him, looking longinly up at the heavy bearded man.

"What's on your mind?"

After that it was quiet for a long time.
In contrast to Jesus' mind. Thoughts circled his head, only the empty spaces to be filled up with questions.

With a raspy voice Paul began to speak. "Alex, we agreed to be just fuckbuddies right?" With that said he looked at the handsome docter.

Alex eyebrows shot up. "Yeah .. yeah, that's what we said." He sighed, this was going to be one of those nights again. Alex loved Paul, of course, but sometimes the pretty man just whined like a women. And that was exactly the reason Alex liked men, and not women.

Especially these past few weeks. Alex didn't know what changed but his lover seemed worried, not really into their agreement anymore.
Maybe the arrival of that new community had something to do with it. These people had been here for about 2 weeks and shit already got messed up.
Gregory got stabbed, Ethan was killed, the Saviors threathend his home the Hilltop and shit got serious with Negan.
That group only brought misfortune.

When Paul was again quiet after that, Alex got quit impatient.
"Paul, stop lingering, spit it out."

"It's just .. I don't know if I wanne do this anymore." Paul looked sadly at his friend. "It's not you, you're great but .. what is the use of this, of us?"

Alex got quiet and looked down, the white sheets layed crumpled and wrinkled over the two tired bodies.

He didn't understand. "What do you mean exactly with what is the use of us?"

"I just .. I think I'm ready for a real relationship, you know?" Paul looked at his hands, fumbling them around each other.

"Okay .. so .. " The older man didn't wanted to say it out loud, he wanted Paul to say it, he would feel embarrassed if he would say it himself.

"I'm really sorry .. don't get me wrong but I don't think we should see each other anymore, at least not like this." The small scout looked sadly at Alex, who looked away, he knew this would come sometime and now was that time. "We just stay friends okay?"

"I already thought that." The docter tried to keep his emotions together, but that was hard. "You said that already once, but you probably don't remember."

"I did?" Paul looked even more guilty now.

"You remember, two months ago, when you got shitfaced drunk because it was Neil's birthday. You blurred you didn't love me while I was dragging you back to your trailer." Alex looked with a sad expression up, meeting the other eyes.

"I'm sorry, you know I don't mean it that way."

"It's okay, maybe we both should just grow up and face the real thing."

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