Breaking our rules - Desus

CHAPTER X

Description:
Daryl and mirrors
Jesus and books

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Daryl looked at his face, what didn't look like his face. It was all puffed up, swollen and bruised.

Moving some hair away from his eyes, he almost didn't dare looking into them. They were little and red, big bags under there forming.

By all the people he came across with these days, he saw something in their eyes, something that made him recognize that they were human, just like him.
But looking at his own eyes now, he didn't saw a thing. Just 2 little blue, almost grey eyes that didn't say anything, that didn't show anything.

It made him hate himself. It made him feel like he didn't was anything. Not worth any shit. Maybe that was why Negan treated him like an animal.

He didn't know.

Daryl shook his head to get the thoughts out of his brains and looked around in the bathroom.
He remembered the first time after everything happened that he looked in a mirror again. It was at the time they got in Alexandria.

That first look, he had scared himself. Everything was different, he didn't recognize himself. His face, his hair, just his whole himself. It looked weird and out of place.

People had always told him he looked like his dad. He tried to remember every night, but the face of his dad was just gone, completely erased out of his mind, like they never even met.

Daryl looked in the mirror again. But now he looked at his back, carefully touching one of the many scars with soft fingertops. It didn't hurt. They didn't hurt anymore for a long time. The only hurt came from the memory.
But just like his dad's face, that memory was almost gone.

The big redneck decided that he was done with thinking and stepped in the shower. I felt like ages ago, only it was about 10 days.

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Daryl usually didn't care about his looks, but since the day he and Rick met this Jesus prick, that changed.
He had no idea why, maybe he was jealous? The guy was pretty, he was young, his hair looked always perfectly styled and even the beard was trimmed into a neat shape.

With a slight pout he lay on his back  on the couch, arms behind his head,  looking through his hair what was falling into his face at a reading Jesus.

Daryl really confused himself with his thoughts. Why the hell would he be jealous of the guy? He didn't try to impress someone or whatever it was.

"What are you looking at?" Jesus suddenly said, not looking away from his book.

"Hm?" Daryl looked immediately away, trying to look as innocent as possible.

"Don't try to fool me, speak up." Now Jesus looked up and squezed his eyes curious at Daryl. "What's on your mind?"

"Nothing." The man groaned and turned around, pretending to sleep. The couch was made for Daryl to spend the night on. Jesus had told him this was the best place he could stay at, until there was more news about the Saviors.

After Daryl's groan Jesus just went back to his book. The man didn't wanted to talk, so be it. He already learned that a few times already the hard way.

The small trailer had 3 rooms. The living room and kitchen in one, what was the biggest, then the bathroom and the smallest was the bedroom. a
A narrow, 2-person bed fit in the little room. Nothing else. So Jesus just kept all his belongs laying around, mostly in the living room. In that way it wasn't that hard to get to know him very quickly.

The book Paul was reading was an old book he had read over and over again. Without family is what the title said.

The story always made him incredibly sad, making him think about his own family, that he grew up in a foster home, with no real mom and dad.
Paul didn't know his mom and dad. He was very young when they died in a car accident. He was an orphan and was placed in a group home. He actually didn't like any of the kids, nor care takers. They were mostly nice to him, but that was it. He never felt real love from any of them and he never was teached how a real relationship worked. Maybe that was the reason Paul was struggling that.

Paul had always been a sad kid. Grown ups told him to smile more, but he just didn't saw the purpose in it.

The sadness came from how relatable the book was. It was like he was reading a biography, the description of his own life. The feelings that Remi, the main character was feeling, felt like his own. The words on the paper appeared in his mind, took over his brain.

So, everytime Jesus felt alone or sad, he read some chapters in the book. Not to have pitty with himself, but just to remind him who he was and where his roots lay.

Paul looked up at the man who was laying on his couch and wondered what he was thinking.

Nothing. Daryl's mind was completely blank. He wanted to talk about what happened, he truly did, but he just couldn't yet. It was way too soon to process everything. It had to sink in first before anything else. And that was happening already.
So he just tried to sleep, to not feel the eyes of the younger scout on his back. He wondered why he didn't go asleep himself and just sat there.

Paul wanted to watch over the man. He was sure Daryl wasn't completely stable yet and wanted to make sure he didn't do anything stupid.  So he sat there the whole night, reading a bit in his book and mostly thinking about what he saw this morning. Daryl was bashing someone's head in. He was probably innocent and didn't deserve what came to him. Of course, Paul didn't know what had happened there to Daryl, so who was he to judge?

The point was, Jesus wanted to make sure the guy didn't die without any reason.

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