•Warning•
This chapter will contain the topic of cutting and depression, if you are sensitive to this please do not read.
I awoke from my deep slumber to the sound of laughing.
"Who the fuck is laughing?"
I sit up in my bed, listening to the voice.. It doesn't sound like Josh, did someone break in?
"So y'all just gonna break into my house, and not kill me?"
I sigh hoping off my bed and grabbing my baseball bat from under it, opening my bedroom door slowly.
I tip toe down the stairs, stopping at the bottom when I hear a man's voice coming from the living room.
"Where is she?"
Maybe I was wrong and he was going to kill me... Oh well too late to die now Sage. Maybe another time.
I count to three as I take a deep breath ready to beat some ass.
1...2...
"Three! "
I run into the living room swinging the baseball bat around like I was aiming at a pinata.
"Ow!! "
Bingo, I got him!
I open my eyes to see my brother looking at me wide eyes while a man is in a ball on the ground clutching his private part.
"Shiit.. My bad"
I say as I let a little laugh slip out
"Sage!!? "
Josh runs picking me up in a tight hug.
"Yo, let me go!"
I say screaming
He puts me down
"What was that for?"
"I thought you were dead!"
"Come again?!?"
"I'm gonna be completely honest with you.. You've been in you're room for at least a week now, I honestly thought you were dead.. I mean you even missed the funeral. "
Josh says trailing off at the last part.
"What! Are you fucking kidding me? You thought I was dead but didn't bother to check? How stupid can you be? I wish I was dead!! ”
I threw the baseball bat out of anger, hitting the window and breaking it.
I ran out of the living room, stepping over whoever I hit with the base ball bat and up to my room.
Slamming my bedroom door shut, I slide down the back of it.
Tears fall down my face, as I think. I really missed my last chance to see my parents. Now I'm never going to see them again, and it's all Josh's fault!
I scream out in anger, how could he do this to me, does he even care?
I went to my dresser opening a drawer and pulling out a blade.
I locked my door, sitting back down in front of it, tears stinging my eyes, begging to come out. And I let them fall, as they mix with the blood on my arms..
One cut
Two
Four
Six...
One year later
Today is my parents death anniversary, I've changed since their death.
I've been missing a lot of school...I only go about twice ever two weeks, I'm fucking up my life, I'm technically a drop out.
Josh is "worried about me", or that's what he tells people. But I don't see him doing anything to help me, he's changed I've started to see a side of him that I don't like.
He acts like our parents death never happened, like he never cared.. Maybe it's that I care too much?
🥀🥀🥀🥀
"Ughhhhh I don't wanna get out of bed" I whine
It's been so hard to function without my parents, they were my everything, now I'm left with nothing.
I step out of bed looking at myself in the mirror. I lift up my shirt as tears start to fill my eyes
"I'm so ugly"
I cry as my fingers trace my stretch marks on my stomach, I've gained a lot of weight.. I would be lying if I said I was skinny to begin with, I've always struggled with weight loss. But this time I really let myself go..
"I hate myself, I'm so fucking ugly."
I wipe my tears, as I turn on the hot water, hoping into the shower.
Getting out I walk to my closet, picking out something black.. Which is mostly everything I own.
As I'm getting dressed I notice my arms. I stopped cutting a couple months ago, but you can still see my scars.
It's hard to control my anger, especially when I'm sad, I've hurt people before, so it's best to just take it out on myself, and not someone else. Or at least that's what I thought..
🥀🥀🥀🥀
I walked out of the house stopping by a shop to buy flowers.
"Can I have the blue and purple ones, please?"
Mom always loved the colorful bundle of flower.
The lady nods her head as she grabs the flowers, handing them to me and ringing me up.
"You're boyfriend his handsome"
She whispers to me. I look at her confused turning around to see a man dressed in all black walking away.
"Ah thank you.. "
I take the flowers and walk away, wondering who that man was. I stop in my tracks as a chill runs down my spine. I have the same feeling I had the day my parents died... Someone is following me.
I just pushed it off, and sighed.
"Kill me why don't you?"
I ask talking to whoever was listening, as I reached the grave
"Maybe then I can be with my parents.. "
I looked around, noticing that I looked crazy.
"Are you serious? "
I say to myself as I look around to see I'm the only one here, guess I'm the only one who cares. I kneel down setting the flowers onto the grave.
"Hi, its me your daughter, Sage...ugh this is so fucking weird"
I say frustrated, my eyes teary
"You'll get used to it.. "
I turn around seeing a man, leaning against a tree.
He looks oddly familiar, his voice is one I don't recognize though.
"W-who are you?"
I asked
He walks towards me kneeling down beside me, pushing a stray hair behind my ear, and I let him..
"What if I told you that everything you know is a lie"
