The Messages

Chapter 18

A/N Happy Birthday Moonbin.

Dongmin's POV-

To: never_ending_morning_alarm@gmail.com

From: always_asleep@gmail.com

Subject: I'm sorry

To- the love of my life 

I don't think that I will be able to see you again. I love you but I keep bringing you pain. I cause you suffering. I want to help you but all I do is cause you pain. I wish that I could do something for you but I can't. I am not able to do anything for you and that is killing me. I wish that I could see you again but I feel like that If I were to see you I wouldn't be able to do anything. 

I'm sorry...

I need to go.

I love you...

What do I do? What am I supposed to do? The love of my life just told me in an email that he can't take it anymore and that he was going to end it all. 

I run out the door, my mom yelling at me about slowing down. I run and run until I get to Bin's old apartment. I try the door and luckily it is unlocked. I rush in and see Bin looking out the window with a blade in his hand, blood running down his hand and onto the floor. 

"Why did you come?" he asks, barely audible. 

"Because I don't care that you can't support me. I can support you. I love you and I can't live without you," I reply.

"Please don't. You don't need me. I just weigh you down. Without me, you will be fine, you will be able to survive, you will be able to be free. you just need to let me go."

"No! I am never letting you go! I can't!" I yell, getting super frustrated. 

I grab my phone out of my pocket and dial 119 as I kneel next to Bin. I take his tearstained face in my hands and kiss him softly and lovingly. 

He starts crying harder. I pick him up bridal style as I hear an ambulance approaching. I carried him outside and to the paramedics who are getting the stretcher out. 

I hold back the tears that are threatening to escape. I can't show him my weakness. I have to be strong for him. I need to show him how much I need him. I can't live without him. 

I climb into the back of the ambulance, still holding his hand. I run my hand over his cheek, pushing his hair out of his face. He looks at me weakly. 

"I love you. I always have and I always will," I tell him. "I don't care if you don't have much money. I will provide for you. I will take care of you for our entire lives."

He smiles and I kiss his forehead.