Our Meliora

Can It Get Any Worse?

The moment Zero left the room broke out in whispers. However it could have been much worse, which is why I kept it contained from the beginning and I intended to keep it that way. "This was just a drill, we wanted to see you all would react and Papa and I would like to thank each and everyone of you. Cooperation is always appreciated and.." Suddenly I stop as I see Sister Imperator quickly approaching us. I sigh as I walk towards her, I could already feel the anxiety building in my chest. You can only lie for so long until it catches up with you. "Emeritus, Pandora I advise you both to come with me out into the corridor." She says in a strict tone that neither of us wanted to argue with. I sigh as we follow her out through the large crowd. I could already feel the grasp of control slip right through my fingers. How would we explain the bombarding questions that were sure to come first thing in the morning. I take a deep breath as I feel the cool air of the corridor hitting my face. The relaxing feeling was quickly snapped away as Imperator looks at me then turns her attention to Emeritus. She shoves her finger into his chest as she start to lay into him. "You see what happened! Zero was here! Zero our eldest, even above Papa the first was here! Do you not understand the severity?! This unfolded in front of the clergy, chaos will unfold they will all want to know what exactly is going on and what do you plan to tell them now?" Emeritus turns to me and elbows me a bit, maybe it was the anxiety that was boiling over but something in me snaps. "Oh I don't think so!" I say as I pull away from him. "I tried to tell you about this! I warned you and y-you gave me this false sense of security! You brought this Emeritus." I say as I start to tear up in anger. "Now all we can do is ask ourselves now what because honestly..I am afraid. Not only for my own future but those in the clergy and our unborn baby." I look at Sister Imperator and just lower my head and make my way through the corridor. I try to shut out the fear that was circulating in my mind. It made me hate Emeritus. I felt like he brought this fate upon us. He should have stood by my side at the first uneasy feeling but did he? No! I growl as I slam the door behind me, creating echoes in the small room. I remove my habit and go into the bedroom and sigh as I sit on the edge of the bed. I rest my hand on my belly as the tears start to run down my cheeks. "I can't protect this monastery, and above all I cannot protect you..I am so sorry my little one I have failed you." I lower my head as I close my eyes until I hear a voice say. "No, Pandora you have not failed our child." I growl as I open my eyes and glare at him. "What makes you think I even want to look at you Emeritus?!" I ask as I stand up. "Oh so now you are saying I am not allowed in our room am I hearing you correctly?" I ball my fist as I feel my face start to get hot. "Why Emeritus? Just answer me that! Why do you insist on being such a jackass? Are you just that impulsive? I told you! You could see the fear in my eyes could you not as I described these...these dreams...visions..whatever you wanna call it I see it all right before my eyes Emeritus! And you just waved it away as if I was over reacting!" Emeritus walks towards me and sighs. "Will you please let me get a word in? I understand you are upset but all of this shouting will not fix a thing now will it?" "God damn it Emeritus! You are missing the whole fucking point here!" "No Pandora I completely get what you are saying here." I look at him as I feel the temptation just to slap him across the face but I just fight it. "Get out. Just go sleep on the damn couch because I really can't stand to look at you." Emeritus goes to place his hands around my waist until I quickly pull away. "No! Get out of my face." I shove away then sit on the edge of the bed. Emeritus looks at me and sighs, walking out of the room in defeat. As soon as the door closes I lay back as I break down in tears. Everything felt so hopeless. It was far out of my control and I just felt even Emeritus was not grasping the severity of the situation and it was aggravating as hell but you can't make someone give a damn. We were supposed to be a team but I felt like all of this was riding on my shoulders. I must have some how, through the crushing anxiety passed out because I wake up to sound of the alarm. I groan a bit as I reach over and shut it off. I lay there and look up at the ceiling. It was still early, hence the darkness in the room. I just let out a long drawn out sigh as I just stair. Doing everything in the world to try to talk myself into getting out of the bed. Finally I just find my strength and make myself get up out of the bed. I sigh as I slowly make way over and flip the light on. I lean against the wall and sigh. I was debating walking into the living. But then I get an idea, I was just going to put it off until I finish getting ready. Once I change I straighten my habit and walk out of the bedroom to Papa sitting on the couch, reading a book. I was shocked to see him wearing his robe, but I guess he wanted to look more Pope like. Maybe he would start acting it. I take a deep breath. "Good morning Emeritus." He glances over at me. "Morning." He says in neutral tone. "When did you get changed?" He takes a pause then closes his book. "About an hour ago, I was going to wake you up but I thought it would be best to let you sleep." I nod. "I see..well thank you." He stands up. "Of course. Well I believe we should be going." "Yeah we have a long morning ahead of us." I say as I just follow him to the door."