Name: Space Piracy; Lessons in Love, Ass-kicking, and Instant Noodles
Author: sirona on ao3
Word Length; 63,241
Summary (provided by author): Ninjas IN SPACE! Join Soragakure's pirate ship captain, Uzumaki Naruto and his crew of misfits on an epic adventure, spanning whole galaxies as they fight to gain control of a viciously dangerous viral mainframe, parts of which are contained in the partly-cyborg bodies of nine men and women all over the known universe. Enemies become friends and friends become something more in a frantic race to outrun the unscrupulous Akatsuki organisation and the corrupt Alliance of space cities and steal a weapon that may mean the end of creation as they know it. Main pairing: Uzumaki Naruto/Uchiha Sasuke.
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Work Text:
The first step to mastering the program in his head--or stomach--or wherever the stupid thing is sealed, is intense meditation. Jiraiya monitors his vital signs and wakes Naruto up when he starts to doze. No one else is allowed into the room, due to Naruto's complete inability to concentrate on anything for more than approximately thirty seconds before drifting off to something different.
Jiraiya is most annoyed with the way Naruto fidgets like a tadpole as soon as his concentration breaks. He's supposed to stay perfectly still--how else can he synchronise himself to the program? They have to become one, mind-and-information, in perfect balance if there's ever a chance for Naruto to be able to impose his will on the viral code, let alone on the entire recovered program. So he's taken to wack him on the head every time he fidgets, via the ship maintenance bot stationed right behind him. Natuto yelps in a most satisfying manner that makes Jiraiya all tingly in the part of him that still enjoys petty revenge. Still, the boy shows promise--Jiraiya can already feel the program stirring, reaching for Naruto's subconsciousness. Now if only the damned whelp could really focus, reach out to the program with his conscious mind--then they would really be getting somewhere.
Meanwhile, another part of Jiraiya is having a chat with Kakashi and Sai. Iruka is sitting in the background with Yamato, both working on their plasma screens but making no secret of the fact that they are listening to every word. As two of the six official senior members of the crew, they are privy to any and all important information as a matter of course.
"We have to find the Hachibi as soon as possible. We have to get him on our side and work out how the eigth piece is stored, as well as the least damaging way to extract it. I've been scanning the wavelengths for any mention of him, but it's as if he didn't exist. If I didn't know any better, I'd think Akatsuki have him. But I'm quite certain they don't - Itachi hasn't mentioned a word of it. I'm leaning towards the conclusion that he's being protected, kept somewhere in complete lockdown. And the only place I can think of that has that sort of lockdown containment facility is--"
"Kumogakure," Kakashi finishes for him. "You think they've sealed him in the Falls of Truth?"
"I'm pretty sure that's the case. His brother, Kumogakure's captain, would go to any lengths to keep him safe."
"So we have to go through the ship's captain in addition to the Falls of Truth containment facility's defences? It's one thing after another these days!" Yamato grouches, annoyed.
"That's exactly how it is."
The groan of frustration could be heard three doors down. Which is, in fact, exactly what happens as Sasuke moves to enter the mess hall and stops mid-step to consider the sound. Karin plows into his back, more intentionally than because of being startled. Sasuke doesn't make a sound, though he can certainly feel and not appreciate the elbow digging into his spine. What makes it all so much worse is Suigetsu not paying attention, thus tripping and landing on top of Karin. This time Sasuke growls menacingly, not that his childish teammates pay any attention to him. He shrugs the two off in a heap on the floor and makes his way into the room to face a smirking Sakura.
