Name: Space Piracy; Lessons in Love, Ass-kicking, and Instant Noodles
Author: sirona on ao3
Word Length; 63,241
Summary (provided by author): Ninjas IN SPACE! Join Soragakure's pirate ship captain, Uzumaki Naruto and his crew of misfits on an epic adventure, spanning whole galaxies as they fight to gain control of a viciously dangerous viral mainframe, parts of which are contained in the partly-cyborg bodies of nine men and women all over the known universe. Enemies become friends and friends become something more in a frantic race to outrun the unscrupulous Akatsuki organisation and the corrupt Alliance of space cities and steal a weapon that may mean the end of creation as they know it. Main pairing: Uzumaki Naruto/Uchiha Sasuke.
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Work Text:
"Fucking hurry up, bastard, it's starting already!" Naruto yelps over the comm, frantically rushing between the front door, the scooter and Her Highness, the heavily pregnant and about to give birth Snake Princess Hinata.
"Calm down, idiot, we're on our way. We'll meet you at the hospital, Sakura's already waiting for you there," Sasuke says calmly. Naruto hates him a lot.
"It's your sodding nephew being born, you could make the effort to at least sound excited!" he grumbles, helping his friend into the passenger seat as carefully as possible. It figures that he'd be the one stuck on emergency duty when the happy event started. Tsunade doesn't know he knows that half of Konoha has been betting on him getting the short end of the stick, again.
"Be grateful you don't have Itachi half-strangling you from the back seat when you're trying to fly a fucking fighter; you've got the better end of the deal, believe me. Besides, you should be used to this by now--it's your third time"
"Yeah, thanks ever so for reminding me," Naruto grouses as he starts the scooter and takes off as slowly as he can force himself.
They travel down the tree-lined streets quickly enough. It's the first time since the newly-engineered trees had been grown and planted that Naruto doesn't stop to bask in the glorious sight--for well over four years, then. Today, though, he has better things to do than feel smug and pleased with himself; the beautiful, eden-like planet Konoha has become thanks to the Juubi program will still be here tomorrow.
When they reach the hospital, Tsunade is there waiting for them, wearing her Fifth Hokage robes for once. It's a respect she'll only pay to the Heads of the reinstated Uchiha clan, and even then, only on special occasions--like the birth of their third child. Sakura appears in the midst of a whirlwind of activity and whisks the ever-patient Hinata away to the delivery room. Naruto is left panting slightly, standing next to the Hokage and peering up the street, expecting to see the expectant father and his long-suffering brother appearing around the corner any minute now.
"Where are the other two brats today, then?" Tsunade asks mildly.
"They're staying with their Uncle Neji and Uncle Gaara, terrorising them to within an inch of their lives no doubt."
Tsunade tries and fails to hide her amusement at the thought of Gaara babysitting. Strange what loving someone more than your life can do for your moody disposition. "I'll bet they are engaging in their favorite pasttime, havinga staring contest with someone who actually stands a chance of winning," she muses.
Naruto snorts; he can afford to, Sasuke still hasn't arrived. Besides, the little Hyuuga-Uchiha brats were a holy terror at the best of times; removing their parents' authority from the vicinity is just asking for trouble.
"Have you set a date for the Juubi removal yet?" Tsunade asks, brushing an imaginary wrinkle off her coat and not looking at him.
"We thought sometime next week, after things settle down again." Naruto sighs, looking down at Tsunade sheepishly. "Is it weird if I say I'm kind of going to miss the little bastartd?"
She huffs a laugh. "It is, though that's not a particularly major change from business as usual."
Naruto scowls and opens his mouth to yell at her when a fighter skids around the corner of the building and comes to a stop just a couple feet from where they're standing. A harassed-looking Itachi falls out of it, spares them a brief nod and rushes inside the hospital, on his way to terrorise the medical team to a nervous breakdown--at least until his wife caught wind of this and put a swift stop to his temper tantrum.
Sasuke jumps out of the cockpit, hair ruffled and expression stony. Naruto tries not to laugh at him; if he knows Itachi at all, Sasuke would be feeling a little fragile right about now. It reminds him of the first time the Hoshii had made land on Konoha, all those years ago, about a month after what had come to be known as the "Danzou fiasco". Negotiations had not come easily to the Alliance fleet, but faced with the facts they could do nothing but capitulate and agree to the Hoshii's re-acceptance into the fleet, together with the Puppeteer and the crew of the now-lost Kumogakure. There are still a few ships out there wary of coming home, but Naruto is nothing if not stubborn, as Sasuke should know first-hand by now.
"Kakashi called just before you did," Sasuke says pre-emptively. "Itachi's been unbearable about their Sharingan-exploring project being interrupted. Honestly, how that man can think about shit like that when his son is being born..."
Naruto throws a reasuring arm over Sasuke's shoulder. "Don't pretend you're not all about the brotherly love today, you couldn't fool a three-year-old. Just enjoy the birth of another mini-Itachi to fuss over and spoil to death." His grin could melt the polar ice caps if it wanted to. On anyone else's face, it would be equal parts insane and terrifying, considering the mind-boggling amount of power he held over creation itself. This is Naruto, though, and while he could be a pain in the ass without even trying, he is also the least frightening man on Konoha, if you weren't scared to death of dorks.
Sasuke glares at him; then he leans over and kisses the silly grin off the idiot's face. The suns are shining, the spring sky is pale golden, the trees rustle their turquoise leaves in the wind, and the scent of the lilac bushes fills the air. Naruto is warm and pliant in his arms, surrendering happily to his advances while Tsunade slips tactfully away. Life is good.
END
