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Repost bc I accidently deleted it...

I’ve been to this campus before. I don’t understand why I have to be on this stupid orientation tour. I know how to get around. I’ve been obsessed with going to this school since I was little. UArts, the University of Arts In Philadelphia, has always been a dream ever since my childhood had been turned upside down. My old foster mom used to tell me about it all the time. She would go on and on about how it was the best years of her life.

She was a piano teacher and she taught me how, but I wasn’t coming here for music. I wanted to draw. I wanted to make children’s books or album artwork. I didn’t care as long as I was drawing. It had always been a way to remove my head from reality and I need it to breathe. I needed the pencils in my hand to make everything go away.

When I was little my mother died in a car crash, but that didn’t only take her from my life. It took my dad from me as well. It was after a party and my dad was drinking a little before we had left. This caused him to doze off as he drove home. I had fallen asleep in the backseat, and woke up in a hospital room. My father was at my bedside, sobbing. He told me that our car had wrapped around a tree and it was a miracle either of us were alive. He told me my mommy hadn’t made it and it was entirely his fault.

Throughout those next few months, I was staying with my aunt. She was my only family left while my dad was put on trial and being charged with a DUI and the murder of my mother. I had to cope with the fact that I lost them both.

My aunt could no longer take care of me so I was sent to a foster home, and then another, and then another. The last one was when I had Olivia, the piano teacher. I stayed with her until I was eighteen and moved into my own apartment as I went to a community college to save more money for UArts.

I was excited for school. I was hundreds of miles from my old life in California. I was far from the prison my dad was spending the rest of his life in. I was miles from all the people who made me think I could trust them. I was far from it all and I was ecstatic.

I got here last night and met up with my roommates. I was living in an apartment on campus with three girls who gladly took me in when I posted online needing to find somewhere to live. They are all juniors as well, but I’m the only transfer. I’ve been chatting with the three of them for a couple months now, so it wasn’t weird at all when I finally moved in last night. They helped me unpack and we all went out to dinner.

This morning I had to wake up early to come to this shit orientation. I followed far behind the group as we walked through greek row and I mentally gawked at the guys. I wasn’t an easy girl. I didn’t sleep around, but I loved boys. They make me feel great about myself. I was always that girl to have a boyfriend. That was my rule though. No one night stands, only boyfriends. I was the full of relationship type and any other way didn’t work for me. Sex wasn’t what made me feel good, well it made me feel good, but I needed those cuddles and dates and hand holding, the love.

I am a short girl, barely passing five foot three. I’m not a skinny girl and I’m not a big girl, I’m in between, but I knew what to wear to fit my nice curves and I knew how to “work it” so to speak. Finding boys that would like me never seemed to be difficult for me. They sort of came to me, I guess.

As we passed the Kappa Alpha Psi (ΚΑΨ) house the boys outside, sitting on lawn chairs in the front yard, whistled at all the new fresh meet freshies and transfers, including me. A boy quickly got up and jumped onto a skateboard, kicking his foot until he skid the edge, breaking in front of me, causing me to come to a halt.

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