As A Friend

9: Maritza's Little Crush

"How'd you do?" Eli asks me as I get in the car after my first midterm of the week.

"I think I did okay. How was your anthropology test?" I hurriedly kiss him on the cheek before buckling my seatbelt.

"It went well, honestly. I think I did good," he admits. "We studied a lot last night."

Speaking of last night, I slept at his apartment. We didn't do anything other than study until two in the morning. He had taken the same history class his first semester and still had his notes. He's a much better note taker than I am. We sat on the carpet in his room just studying until it was time to sleep. I didn't even risk kissing him before bed. I brushed my teeth, laid down, and pretended to be asleep when he got back from the bathroom. We cuddled while we slept but that was the most intimate thing that happened.

I've been trying to take Dominic's advice of not being amorous with him for two weeks but it's so difficult. When we aren't on top of each other, we don't do much. Last night was the most I've heard him speak and it was only because he was reading his notes over and over again. I think I make him nervous, which is frustrating because it's keeping me from getting to know him. And if I don't know him, how am I going to know if I like him or not? We have great conversations over text but I think I jumped the gun when I kissed him that first date. He seemed so surprised and even though he liked it, it was too soon.

I'm trying my best to build with him. He's a nice guy and there's no reason for me to not like him. It's just that something in me isn't clicking. He's nice. He's funny. He's cute. He's smart. And I don't think it has anything to do with my secret admiration for Dominic, because people can definitely love two people at once. I mean, look at Bella, Edward, and Jacob. Of course someone won in the end, but it's definitely possible. But, as bad as this sounds, I can't help but look at him and see him as nothing more than a guy I like to hook up with. I feel guilty because that's exactly what we said we don't want so I have to at least try to see if this will work out.

"What exam do you have tomorrow?"  I furrow my eyebrows and exhale as I try to recall my exam schedule. I suddenly remember because Dominic and I made plans to get breakfast beforehand.

"Introduction to Comparative Politics," I answer.

"I can't help you there. I steer clear of anything political.". I repress the urge to cringe. I wish I could afford not to pay attention to politics but as a minority, I don't have that luxury.

I decide to change the topic. "What test do you have?"

"Biology." I wrinkle my nose. "Do you want to study again tonight?"

"I would but I'm studying with Dominic. We have the same test tomorrow," I explain and he nods.

"Do you want me to drop you off at the library then? Or...his dorm?" he hesitates for a second and I shake my head, deciding not to clue him in as to where I'll be studying- not that it matters much.

"No, I have to pick up my books from my dorm anyway," I answer and he bobs his head again. He slows to a stop outside of my building and I hastily unbuckle my seatbelt. In an attempt to dodge any serious affection, I quickly peck his cheek and reach for the door handle. This, however, isn't a part of his plan because he grabs my other hand and stops me. He pulls me in and rests his finger under my chin, engaging me in a slow, passionate kiss. I pull away, feeling slightly dazed as I offer up a nervous smile. I mumble incoherently as I get out of the car, barely sticking the landing. As I approach my dorm building, I sigh noisily. It hasn't even been three days and I've already messed up.

+++

"Well, well, well, look who decided to show up," Dominic says as I waltz into the Montgomery lounge twenty minutes late.