Pinocchio • l.p. | AU

Fear

the days passed by.

there were moments i would wake up screaming in agony, from the horrible nightmares i had.

there were days i would feel the need to take the drug. any drug, as long as it made me numb from my emotions.

there were days that i just simply didn't have a complication. those were my favorite.

but regardless of what the day was like, they passed by rather quickly; and now i'm being released from the hospital.

in a really corrupt way, i'm going to miss this hospital. i've grown fond of the doctor, who i learned his name is zayn malik. suites him. he looks really, i guess beautiful, and his name adds more to that.

"mr.payne, you're free to go, but i think if you go to a rehabilitation center-", i cut zayn off before he could finish, "n-no. no need for that. i c-can manage by myself-", "mr.payne, it's for the bes-", "i said no!", I sighed, "i'm sorry, but there's no need for rehab. so thank you."

he looked hesitant at first, but he nodded understandingly. "very well mr.payne.", he turned around ready to walk out of the room, "but just know that no one wants you to fall into that dark abyss known as addiction. you might not fear it now, but once reality hits, you'll live in constant fear, and i want you to know that there are people who want to help. so don't push them out, please."

he looked over his shoulder, "goodbye liam. you are free to go.", and with that he left.

i was left with doubt circulating in my mind. doubt in me. doubt in everything i do. doubt in everything in general.

will i really be able to conquer this 'addiction' on my own, or should i get help?

zayn was right. i wasn't in fear then because i haven't been hit by reality yet, but it seems like i've been hit by reality now. no. i was destroyed by reality. i'm completely terrified now.

he's right. i am going to live under constant fear if i don't get help.

i'm being divided. part of me says get help, but the other part says "need more drug"

i'm scared.

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A.N.

Hey guys!
So a few things, I'm almost out of school; so that means more updates!
Also I finally reached 200 followers and I think I screamed and cried! Ahhh so happy<3
Lastly once I reach 1k votes I think I'll die of an overdose of joy! (Aha see what I did there?)

But in respect to the story, poor liam! He's terrified, and he has reasons to be.

When one faces addiction it's a game of doubt and fear. You never know the outcome of anything. You don't know what one simply action would do, so yeah. That's why Liam is scared. He doesn't know if he'll get better, or worse.
But he also doesn't know if he wants to get help, hence why he feels divided into two.
Part of him says yes and the other part says no.

So yeah.

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