have you ever thought that you weren't good enough for someone or something? have you ever wondered why you are where you are in your life, what went wrong, and what went right?
that's exactly how i feel right now. well, that's how i felt a few years ago before i met the man who i knew at first sight that i wanted to be with until i died. hopefully he feels the same. and here i am, staring right back into his eyes as he stares at me while drinking wine.
a smile comes to his face while he sets the glass down.
"what?" the man chuckles.
"you...you are just the greatest, evan." i suddenly feel flushed while i sit on the couch on my knees, digging my toes into it. evan comes closer, bringing my face to his with his index finger underneath my chin. our lips connect, and i push him back into the sofa, feeling his hands all over me, and i never want them to go away.
"let's start a family, brook." my husband looks up at me, and i look down, batting my eyelashes while smiling.
"let's do that, baby." i murmur before capturing his lips with mine once more.
♡♡♡♡ september 28th, 2000, bethany lake russell, 5lbs, 7oz.
may 25th, 2001, sebastian ryan russell, 7lbs, 3oz.
august 26th, 2003, katherine may russell, 5lbs, 5oz.
my three children that i adore the most in life. the three children evan russell promised he'd protect and be there for since the day each of them entered this world.
i am now crying over the promise he couldn't, wouldn't, keep.
on this day, june 3rd, 2006, i am officially a single mother of three with their father nowhere to be seen. he decided to up and move to los angeles on sebastian's third birthday without a goodbye to any of us. i was getting back from the store, sebastian's cake in the back seat, and i was in a particularly great mood.
i walked in the door that day, hiding the cake in the fridge before the kids had a chance to come and attack me with hugs and kisses. the nanny was with them in the playroom, watching bethany push over a tower of foam blocks that she had intricately stacked minutes before.
"where's evan?" i had asked the nanny, and she didn't have an answer for me. i walked around the house, checking in every single room, but i didn't find him. last was our bedroom. when i stepped in it, i was horrified. all of his things were gone as if they were never there, and there was a post-it note stuck to my pillow.
tell the kids i love them, and tell the boy happy birthday
that was all the note said, and i couldn't have been more furious. sebastian didn't deserve this, the girls didn't, and i'd be damned if i deserved any of it. i stormed from the bedroom to the playroom, telling the nanny she could leave for the day, and that i may be needing her a little extra over the next few days because my husband was on a 'business trip.'
we had my son's birthday party with the four of us, and i had cancelled all of the guests, telling them that evan and i decided last minute for it to just be the family. no one came, respectfully. the kids would not stop asking about him though, and eventually, i had no idea what to say except for one thing.
"daddy had to go away for a little while, but he really wanted to be here, and he wanted you to know that he wishes you a very, very happy birthday." i gave sebastian my best 'everything is perfect' smile before sending them to bed with their tummies full of cake and ice cream.
♡♡♡♡
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