Meathead Monologue

that one about drowning

i am caught somewhere
beneath the raging sea
and there is just enough time for me
to reach my head above the water
so i can see but not speak.
the sea life and aquatic emotions from them drift into the cracks in my brain
and i can hear them laughing at me,
laughing because i can't get my head
above the damn water anymore.
sharks surround me
and i am nipped at.
this time i scream and scream,
and i didn't realize how much i liked
seeing the last bits of air fly happily
from my tired lungs,
up to the surface which i could not reach.
in which i drown and die and i am reborn
as a siren.
and i am god ugly.
i prayed to the heavens, asking why i was treated so harshly,
to which they respond, saying that i am now
a true reflection of what was hiding beneath.
and i cannot even cry or pity myself
because underwater the tears don't mean anything.
and the fish no longer laugh at me,
and sharks no longer nip.
i am the top of the chain now, and they fear me.
i am not so sure i like that feeling though,
because as soon as i swim the the surface
of the water,
i cannot breath.
i take in the element and i shove it in my lungs but all they desire is water, cold water.
now, i am caught somewhere
between the sea and me.
the sea proclaims its love for me in
huge waves that crash like a cold and salty hell
and whirlpools that take me deeper.
the water tries to kiss my siren body,
and i let it because it is my air now.
and i sing to the water because she wants me to.
and i do what ever she wants.
the melodic sounds reverberate through the sea and in come the fish and sharks and
everyone that feared me.
but when i see them swimming up to me
i can feel myself growing antsy and my heart begins to yearn.
my jaw unhinged and i swallow their souls and while i am at it,
i swallow the ocean.
i swallow the ocean.
i am left in the sand and i cannot breath.
just the same as when my head could not
pass the surface of water,
i am deprived of what i wanted most:
everything.
i drown all over again.

r.k.