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"I wish I was sorry that I don't know how to stay away." ~Kehlani, Again
LAUREN
I walk into the house with my parents slowly, heart pounding against my chest and breath all over the place. Nah this a bad dream. It has to be.
"Mija, what's wrong?" My dad asks.
I shake my head and wave him off, "I'm fine."
I go to my old room and lay across the bed, staring up at the ceiling. What the fuck? What happens now?
I hear the door open and my dad sits next to me. I continue to look at the ceiling and replay the day in my head.
"What's up kiddo?"
I ignore him and he decides to lay down too, "How about now?"
I turn my head to look at him and he opens his arms. I roll over and lay my head on his arm, he rubs my head softly.
"What happened?" He asks.
"She said we got too toxic and it's best I'd stay separated," I mumble.
"Oh...," He says while slowly nodding.
"Yup."
"Well, maybe it is best. Or maybe it's not. You have to let time present itself," He says.
"And if it is best you can't change what was planned," He adds.
"I know," I sigh.
It just sucks cause I had good intentions and it didn't turn out that way. I never wanted any of this, I just wanted her.
"It's gonna be okay Lauren."
If only she knew just how it is when our lips touched. If only she seen how she walked away, she'd see exactly why I'd follow her into yesterday and for miles. The type of person she is, is not easy to let go.
"I know what I did was fucked up, but-"
"Just rest for some time."
I'm still gonna pray for the love that we had prior to this and the promises to not waste love arguing nonstop. I love her more than I ever could say, every since we met. Even though I couldn't stand her at first, I still knew there was something about our exchange. The pain is on me though. I wish I was sorry hat I don't know how to stay away.
