A/N I'm giving the chapters names now and hi kittens tell me if you like it. :)
2 days later
Jack's P.O.V
Alex had been released from the hospital earlier that day well the day before speaking of it being 6am and he still wasn't asleep.
"Alex how are you not tired?" "I am. But I can't sleep what if it gets dark again?" "If it scared you so much why weren't you sure if you wanted to come back?" I asked and taking on Alex at 6am with questions about life seems pretty normal weird some may say.
"Think of something you hate but you're used to but you'd be to scared to change it cause you were so used to the feeling." "I have something." Thinking about my eating disorder. I swallowed hard and Alex kept talking.
"I hated the feeling of being trapped,hearing peoples voices,feeling people but not seeing. Soon I adapted it into a way of life. Soon I forgot what it felt like to wanna run free and be able to smile. I took my state as thinking that's how I was gonna be forever so I expected that and moved forward but when I moved forward I cut off my knowledge of thinking I could get better or come back. Sure I smile now,I laugh because I can I want to feel those feelings again but in that state I couldn't and I was used to it. It's like getting on a roller coaster. You know you won't fall but you still have to fear. I know I won't go back into my coma if I fall asleep but it still scares me dear."
I felt like I was gonna cry but I wouldn't I couldn't. Could I?
"The lights are out and the windows are closed but I can still hear the rain." Alex said.
"What would turning off a light do with hearing the rain?" I asked. Alex shrugged.
"So Jack if you light a match. Do you hear it or see it first." "I don't think you can hear a match Lex." I said wondering about his question. "There's the split second before the fire starts where you hear the scrap." "I guess you're right. I never really used matches never needed a fire." "Oh no Jack no no I've never lit a match with intent to start a fire but just a simple flame but recently the flames they get out of control. That scares me. What scares you?" "Nothing honestly. I scare myself. I don't fear the words I've been called I mean it's what I feel like I deserve. My heart is cold and honestly it needs to be warmed but the last person ditched me like a car on the side of the road and I don't just don't trust someone with that anymore." "Oh but Jack you said it yourself in your non fear exposed your fear. You fear rejection or forgotten-" I cut him off. "Doesn't everyone?" "You just admitted to a fear." "What how?" "If everyone fears being rejected or forgotten the adds you to the mix. For you are human vessel with a beating heart and chosen words that just go with the beating in your chest." "This feels like a beginning to an ending of conversation." "For that it may and for one it will end no doubt but someday this will get brought back up and it will show feelings forever stay even if they may change."
I thought for a moment. "Does that mean conversations don't end just stop for a period of time?" "Exactly." "Why are we talking like this?" "Because it's what our minds thought was right to speak of." "I thought it would be our hearts." He shrugged. "Who are you right now." "I'm who you want me to be." "Huh?" "I am brother to 3. A son to 2. A friend to many. A heart crushing on a one and no one to the rest. Who it am to you is what you see me as." "I see you as Alex." "I see you as skunk boy." "Scratch that I see you as a massive twat."
He chuckled at my response. I will think about this statements and I'll reword them into my head for a period of time.. We are all human but all monsters are human. They aren't under your bed or in your closet when you sleep. Those are metaphors.
"Monsters don't exist Alex." I said out of the blue likeeee that hasn't happened tonight. "Explain?" "Monsters aren't real. Evil isn't either. There are evil acts but those are choices. A monster is something that causes fear so if we don't give it the power it can't hurt us so the fear is no longer there." "Are you saying fear isn't real?" "No not at all Alex not at all. Fear is defiantly real but the fears you fear aren't. The thing with fear is the statement is true nothing to fear but fear it self. Its like tinker bell from Peter Pan. She needs applause to live. Fear needs pain to survive because without it will disappear."
