One Hundred Sleepless Nights With Him

Day.30

Jade's Pov

It's been five days since the thing at mall. That's 120 hours or 7200 minutes to think about what happened. I've come to one single conclusion. Maybe im just insane. I mean how else is there to explain all of this, I've never been that strong or felt rage like that before. To top it all off the stupid voice in my head. I have to be going crazy. I haven't spoken Jeff since then either unless I have to but even then its one word answers.

I don't know why I can't talk to him its not like I care about what he thinks of me. He's some weirdo that's plating a game with me. Sure he reminds me of my old best friends but that doesn't make him him. Jeffrey would be so disappointed if he saw me now. He'd always said violence was never the answer. The look he would give me when he heard what I had done.

"Jade" I hear Jeff shout from wherever he was.

I honestly couldn't care about what he had to say because all the while he'd be looking at me differently. The few conversations we've had face to face he's looked at me as though I killed a puppy and laughed. Am I a monster for wanting to beat up the people who've hurt me repeatedly in the past.

Hurting them was nice of us we could've killed her.

The voices words have gotten more and more appealing. All I can think about is what it would feel like to kill Heather and Chad and everyone else. Still the thought of what Jeffrey would think of me hold me back somewhat.

He left us! We shouldn't care about what that boy would think of us.

Just cause he left doesn't mean anything. He could've had to move away again.

That's a likely story hadn't he just moved here a few months before he took off. Even so why wouldn't our dear Jeffrey say goodbye to us.

Maybe it was rushed. Maybe he didn't have time and had leave quickly. Maybe-

Maybe he didn't care about us as much as you thought. Maybe he left to get away from us.

No he wouldn't do that to me. He was kind and always there for me. Jeffrey wouldn't just leave like that.

Maybe you don't know him as well as you thought you did cause open your eyes that's exactly what happened. HE LEFT US BECAUSE HE DIDN'T CARE.  Or maybe it was cause he was tired of all your silly problems.

"Shut up" the sound of my voice scares me.

"What was that Jade" I hear Jeff call.

"Oh uh nothing" I mumble back hoping he'll hear.

Sadly based on the sharp knock on my door he doesn't. Before I can tell him to go away the door opens and his pale face fills my line of sight. It wasn't fair how much he looked like my Jeffrey. It was like I was being taunted by an unknown force. He wasn't my Jeffrey he just looked like him and happened to be named Jeff. Its a common name I know but why did it have to be his name.

"Jade would you stop staring off into space and listen to me" his whole being practically oozed annoyance, while his words dripped soaked in it.

"Sorry what do you want" though my voice was quite you could still hear the false anger I had put in it.

"You've been stuck in this room for the last five days and the first words I hear from you besides mumbles yes's or no's was a very loud shut up. So sorry if I wanted to check on you". his probably would've been red with anger if it wasn't for his somehow unchangeable skin tone.

"Yeah well nobody asked you to check on me" I say this time with real anger.

Who does he think he is? He's not aloud to mad at me. I wouldn't even be here for him to be mad about if it wasn't for him. He doesn't get to just check on me like im important. Im not important to anyone. The only people im important to are dead or somewhere far away from me.