One Hundred Sleepless Nights With Him

Day:35

Jeff's Pov

I don't know how to help her but I want to. It hurts seeing her so distraught and it's weird. I've seen her happy, sad, angry, and pretty much every other emotion shes capable of but this hurt. This wasn't an emotional thing this wasn't a normal person thing either. It wasn't supposed to happen to her not without it happening like it did with me. She couldn't have been born like this. It was impossible she had emotions like normal emotions not just the memory of emotions, not just small glimpses of emotions. So then why does she have the caller in her head.

I told her I could help but I don't know if I can. I don't know if I can give her a weapon and tell her to kill. There's no way I can introduce her to this. Jade's my innocent Jade is my final link to my old life to when I was normal. She was lifeline back to a time when I didn't need to kill each night. I can't ruin that but that's the only way to stop the caller.

Killing. It was normal to me I killed daily. I found a house and killed the first person I saw, no remorse, no second thought about their family, there was no emotion. I tried to fight it at first, I would go weeks without killing but the caller would just get louder the longer I went without killing. I gave up fighting and gave up emotions. All but my emotions or well remberance of emotions towards Jade. 

Now as I watched her sleeping body thrash around in bed I knew that she couldn't stay that way. I'd have to burn out my light to keep her. I would do it though  because I knew resisting the caller would lead to an unbareable amount of pain. Still the hesitance was there I don't know how she'll react. Will she be scared, will she ask about how I became like this, or will she ask who I was before this. She'll hate me if she ever finds out.

Even with my fear of her reaction I know it's not right to keep her in the dark. The way she talked about the old me, about how I abandoned her. She talked about how she missed me and couldn't understand what went wrong. She deserves to know that I never meant to leave her, that I watched her from a distance. She shouldn't have to live thinking that everyone she cared about is dead or would rather be away from her.

How would I tell her though? How does one bring up that their your best friend who went missing after killing his whole family and almost killing a couple of kids at a birthday party? How do you bring that up? Oh yeah you remember that boy you told your life story to and talked to everyday until he disappeared. Well I'm him. Oh why did I disappear, you see I kinda just snapped and killed my family. You know just normal teenage boys things. Yeah no. There's no good way to bring this up.

But I have to I owe it to her after borderline stalking her since we  were  thirteen. She didn't even notice me always in the shadows. Sometimes I'd come covered in blood unable to control the urge to kill but unwilling to miss more then a second of her life. The amount of times I thought of killing the people at her school is uncountable. I never did because they were all well known people everyone would notice if they were gone. Still they didn't deserve the life they were given.

Sighing I move out of her room careful not to make a sound I know she doesn't sleep much. Another thing only the old Jeff would've known. If I was the old Jeff I could see our whole life. I would've helped her through the loss of her grandma. We would've eventually, hopefully, started dating. We would grow old together and live life to the fullest. I take to her to concerts even though we both knew we couldn't stand to long. We'd enjoy the music as it made our old and wrinkled body feel young again. Sadly I'm not the old Jeff and I can't have this perfect life with my perfect girl. She'll probably leave the second I tell her.

I guess the last 35 days have been worth it. I got to spend real time with her to watch her without it being stalking. She didn't even seem to mind at all that I'd literally kidnapped her. How broken do you have to be to not care that some psycho has held you captive for 35 days. She agreed to stay with me for 100 days not even knowing who I was.