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Those were the last words you said before leaving him under that rain. Your clothes both soaked and every tear washed with each drop of the rain. Those words might also be the final words you will ever tell him because now, you are finally setting him free.
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"No." Jeonghan muttered under his breath inaudibly. He felt his heart tear into pieces when you walked away. The pain was unexplainable. He really wants you to know that you have special place in his heart more than just being a resemblance of his first and only love but a part of him is unsure of it. He needs time to clearly understand your importance and holding on to you while he does it is a very selfish move so it's best if he just let you go.
***
"We're done." You shrugged. A week has passed and you fought every single day with eyes filled with unshed tears. The wound is deep and the pain is fresh but you kept on going. "Actually, there's nothing to end. We didn't even have a chance."
It's not like you confessed to Jeonghan or Jeonghan asked you to be his girlfriend but you just ended ties with him with a few words. Even before that, you are both aware of where this connection is going. He only sees you as an exact copy of his ex and it is not a valid reason for him to hold on to you. He will only either like you as her or he will not like you at all. Stopping this early is the best cure.
"You'll be fine." Jun rubbed your back to soothe you. He was never good with words but he still sincerely wants to make you feel better in any way.
"Do you think I did the right thing?" All this time, you are still so unsure of yourself. You want to commend yourself for being able to let him go but when you find yourself thinking about him at the end of each day, you couldn't help but regret your decision.
"Only you could answer that, ut if what you did gave you happiness then maybe you can consider it right."
Happiness.
Happiness is such a big word. Some people have it too easy, some struggle first to feel it's genuineness. Some find it in the little things while some could have everything but it. It was such a complicated thing to greed of, but you weren't really demanding about it. Your happiness always depended on little things and this is the only time that you've asked for something bigger. You want him, you need him to be happy, and you know that it's not supposed to be that way. He has been a part of you, yes, but you can't have that desire because as much as his existence gives you joy, you know that with him you'll debilitate.
"How could I be happy?" You chuckled sadly. "I only ended ties because I don't want to fool us anymore. I also think it's the most clever thing to do." And sometimes, clever is better than happy.
"Well, we need to experience pain to appreciate happiness." Even Junhui wants to commend himself for the cool words that just came out of his mouth. He was right. Life brings us difficulties to make us surrender, so we could learn from it, be motivated because of it. And maybe Jeonghan was the lesson life brought you. "You'll get over this."
