Poems

Believing

  After a while, I started to believe what they were telling me.

Not just one person, but much more

As I got older my feelings got colder.

I didn't say much, I kept to myself

It was hard at times when people would walk by.

I didn't have much to say but that was alright.

When a guy would ask me "why?" or "how"

I usually just frowned.

Id go home some days.

The teachers never noticed me gone at times.

Even when they'd call my name an not see me look up or raise my hand slightly to say "here"

They still counted me there.

This hell of a silence awaking I wish to pass.

Not only a long road lost in hoping to be better.

But knowing the truth in every word they said to me.

I didn't talk a lot but I didn't have much to say.

Not only were my sleeves held up tightly.

not hiding anything below.

but every teacher had to make sure I was "fine"

As I sit in an old beaten down chair.

Colder than ever.

Holding my head down just so no one notices I'm even alive;

I never said much, till the boy who asked me "who", and "why"

I frowned an tried to hold back the words coming from my mouth.

But I couldn't.

" The man who makes me sad, or makes me cry, The one who makes me burn inside

the death of my heart that broke as a child, my father is the one who made me sad.."

He looked down at his feet, held out his hand for me to take,

I didnt know what to do.

I just stood there.. staring as I felt nothing.

That's what scares me the most about believing

I won't feel a damn thing. I'll be numb.

I'll be so scared and tired I won't feel it.

As I looking this boy in the eye and walked off,

I felt nothing but guilt. As I turn around he's gone.

Believing is what got me here.

Tis the day I can't wait to not believe,

Believe everything they once have told me.