Drowning Into Oceanne

05. perfection

                              [[[]]]

Thanks god today was Friday. Surprisingly, sleeping in every single class really makes you tired. The only thing that was making me dread today was the fact that my parents were coming back from their work trip.

After my little encounter with Valentine under the tree in our school, I was feeling a little weird. I don't really know why I cried, but that happens sometimes randomly. I guess I was just so lost in my own universe that I forgot about everything, and my emotions got the best of me.

But right now, we were walking through the dull streets of England to the little coffee shop near our school as Sam *tried* to sing a serenade to Will, who just laughed all the way as she sang.

"Jesus Sam, my ears will bleed sooner or later if you stay singing like that." Will said between laughs as Sam just wrapped her arms around his waist, pretending not to hear what he'd said.

"Why are you so quiet, Ocean?" Sam suddenly said, looking at me from the arms of her boyfriend.

"I am quiet, Sam." I casually said, seeing the coffee get closer and closer. They laughed as Arabelle agreed.  

The moment we set foot in the coffee shop, I was immediately engulfed by the delicious scent of fresh bread and coffee as I heard some jazz playing in the background by two bearded guys. This place was incredibly comfortable and I just wanted to curl into the sofa eating bread and sleep forever.

We sat by a table near the window, and as they talked and read the menu my eyes wondered thorough this place, immediately stopping at Valentine, who was casually standing by the bar, eyes fixed on the jazz band as his hands tapped his legs to the rhythm of the song.

I don't really know why, but I always want to just look at him. Or stare, whatever. There's just something about him that makes me so interested, or even curious. Sometimes he just seems so... Perfect. It's almost unnatural and it makes my curiosity itch, wanting to discover if he's hiding something behind this happy face.

Before I could think straight, I'd already excused myself, and my feet were carrying me towards the bathroom, making me pass through the bar and Valentine, who just continued to stare straight ahead, not even once noticing me walk pass him.

As I passed through him, I realized two new things: he probably works here. I mean, he was wearing a apron with the little Green's Coffee slogan, that must mean something. And the second thing was that he must sing very well, because when I was passing through him, he was humming with the music, and for my surprise he hummed very well. If that's even a thing.

I stared back at my reflexion at the mirror, my red hair was messy as always, and I tried to fix it a little at least. I splashed some water in my face, feeling the coldness hit my warm skin, waking me up.

Sometimes I wished I had more self esteem. It's not like I think I'm ugly, I just don't think I'm beautiful too. I know I'm a little pretty, but it doesn't really go as far as that. Whatever. Let's see if Valentine actually notices me passing by this time.

The moment I left the bathroom his soft yet deep voice was already saying my name "Oceanne"

I turned around to see Valentine in his apron, looking down at me with a little smile "Hey Valentine" I casually said, noticing the way his little mouth piercing complimented his full lips. Ugh why am I doing that?!

I quickly looked up to find his mesmerizing eyes fixed on me "You look cute" He suddenly said, taking me by surprise as my cheeks immediately flushed as I tried to think what to answer.

"Th-Thanks" I said and immediately turned around and walked fast to the table, just wishing I was dead right now. What's freaking wrong with me? I'm never ever  embarrassed, why do I always act this way around him? Ugh I'm angry at myself.

maybe you have a crush on him...

Oh jesus please spare me from having a crush and acting like a 14 year old.

I'm sure whatever feelings I have for him will vanish as soon as they appeared, that's what always happen. And that's probably why I've never been in love.

"Hey Ocean, we asked a burger for you since you weren't here" Sam said, leaning her head against Will's shoulder. "Is that ok?"

"Sure, thanks Sam" I replied with a little smile as I sat in the chair.

A moment later, the burgers arrived. I ate mine while they talked excitedly about some movie that's going to the cinema soon. The moment we all finished eating, I realized that they weren't planning on leaving soon, so I quickly put my money on the table, saying that my parents were coming back from their work trip and they asked me to be home.

That wasn't true but it wasn't that much of a lie either. My parents were coming back, they just didn't really care if I'd be home or not.

As I was about to leave the coffee, a familiar voice called me "Oceanne! Wait a sec'" I looked behind me and Valentine was quickly taking his apron off, and slinging his black backpack over his shoulder. I waited for him and we walked together to the front of the restaurant.

It turned out he was going the same direction as I was, so I got a little company before I entered hell, I mean, my house. But before we could leave, he took his phone out and asked for my number. I couldn't say no so I just gave it to him and tried to act nonchalantly about it.

We're walking as a comfortable silence fell on us and I wrapped my scarf tightly around my neck. "Do you sing?" I suddenly asked, looking at Valentine who was bitting his lip.

After a moment of silence, I actually thought he was just going to ignore me, but he suddenly said, "Yeah, a little."

"One day I want to hear you sing." I said, surprising even myself with that statement. He just looked at me with his almost transparent eyes as his lips turned into a full smile, that kind of one to make you want to just stare forever.

With one arm, he hugged my shoulders, pulling me closer as we walked through the sad streets of Bristol.

[[[]]]

call me by your name
and i'll call you by mine