Against Hope

5 | Pain

Dani's POV

"Do you think Emily is going to be okay?" Rose asks me as we walk around our town, New Bern in North Carolina. The town that we lived in was small, it was a community where everyone knew everyone. It was the kind of community where New Bern High School's football and basketball games were kind of a big deal.

"She has to be.... we need her to be" I tell Rose as we enter the towns most popular coffee shop. I ordered my usual hot chocolate while Rose ordered herself a latte. We both found a table to sit and for a while, neither of us said anything but we knew that we were both thinking about the same thing.

"What do you think she meant that one day... when she said that she loved Madison?" Rose asks me and I shrug my shoulders.

"She's in love with her, Rose. It all makes sense. That's why Emily is taking her disappearance really hard." I tell Rose and she nods her head. 

"I just can't stand to see her like this anymore... I mean, we've tried everything we can to help her but she just continues to push us away. Yeah, she said she needed space but for how much longer? I just feel like... as time continues to pass by she continues to drift away from the world." Rose says and then it went silent between the two of us, "I miss her"

"Miss who?" I ask, not knowing who she is referring too.

"Madison...where did she go, Dani? What happened to her?" Rose asks as she looks into my eyes with her blue ones.

"I... I don't know but I wish I did... I just need closure I think that's what we all need, especially Emily"I say and Rose tilts her head and looks at me a bit confused.

"How are we going to find closure, Dani? The police have stopped looking... It's been a year since she went missing... I don't see how closure will help any of us" Rose says.

"No, it's exactly what we need."

"Shoot, I have to go. My mom is expecting me" Rose says as she grabs her stuff, says bye, and hurries out the door. I let out a sigh as I grab my things and instead of heading home, I head to Emily's house, and when I get to her house I knock on her door and her mom answers.

"Hi, Mrs. Fitzgerald, is Emily home?" I ask.

"She's up in her room... and I was just about to head out so if there is anything you need just give me a call, you have my number" Emily's mom replies as she lets me in with a smile. I walk up the stairs to Emily's  room and gently knock on her door. I waited for an answer that I knew I was not going to get and so I let myself in.

I was confused when I saw that her room was empty and so I called out her name and heard nothing. I left her room and went down the hall and called out her name once more and that was when I heard muffled sobs in the bathroom. I open the bathroom door and my eyes widen when I see Emily sitting on the bathroom floor. Her sleeves were rolled up and there was blood rolling down her arms while a razor sat on the floor next to her.

She looked at me with an expression on her face that I have never seen before. She looked as white as a ghost, except for her eyes which were red, puffy, and tired, "Emily..."  I kneel down next to her and grab her hands.

"What did I do?" She tells me with tears rolling down her cheeks as I grab a towel and instantly press it on her wrists to stop the bleeding, "I'm sorry" she mumbles as she let out a sob. 

"Shhhh, don't be sorry" I tell her as I wrap my arms around her and bring her close to me. She was crying uncontrollably, unable to contain herself. They were sobs that you never wanted to hear. She was in pain, she was hurting, thoughts and memories were going through her mind and it was destroying her.

When I finally released her, I grabbed a first aid kit from the bathroom and began cleaning up her cuts on her wrists, "I'm sorry, this might sting" I tell her as I dab a a towel of alcohol on her wrist but she didn't even flinch, not once. After I finished placing bandages on her wrists, I helped her up to her feet and led her onto her bed.

I went back to the bathroom to clean up the mess and blood before returning back to her room, "I'm going to call your mom" I say and before I do, she grabs my hand and I turn to look at her.

"Please don't..." She says with sadness in her eyes. I was hesitant at first before I put my phone down. Emily didn't say much after that, but I knew that I couldn't leave her. Especially now. She eventually tucked herself into bed and as I was about to leave the room to sleep on the couch downstairs, she called my name.

"Dani?" She whispers.

"Yeah?"

"Can you stay with me tonight... I.... I don't want to be alone" She whispers. Her voice cracked as she was speaking and it broke my heart knowing that my friend was hurting a lot more than I thought.

"Of course" I say. I close the door and start walking towards her bed. I texted my mom telling her I was staying over at Emily's. Emily moved to the left side of the bed and I was assuming that she wanted me to sleep next to her and so I did.

She snuggled into my side and I wrapped my arm around her and, she began to cry once again.

"I'm sorry, Dani" She whispers.

"Emily... just talk to me." I tell her.

"Not tonight" 

"Okay"

**********

I know, super deep stuff with some sensitive topics. But, I would like to use this chapter as a reminder that if you or anyone that you know is struggling with anything at all, talk to someone. Let people who care about you, help you face whatever it is you may be facing. After all, no one is ever really alone.

Again, thank you all so much for reading! Don't forget to vote and leave your thoughts below!

All the love,

Hannah