unrequited love poems

escapade with escapism

escapade with escapism

It scares me because I may like you.
I don't want to. I don't want to like someone like you.

Especially someone like you.

Someone that I've warned my mind and heart against, someone that I've always tried my best to keep a safe distance from.

Somehow, they didn't work.
My heart overtook and my mind went berserk,
Beyond my control.

But I love everything about you, but I hate everything about you.
It's true.

I wish we met; I wish we didn't.

You brought me tears, you gave me laughter.
You were the paradise I was chasing after.

Your words stretched my grins to ends I never knew it could,
Your words pierced my heart in ways I never knew it would.

But I am strong.
I thought I was strong.

Instead it feels like I'm reduced to nothing when I'm with you, as my resolve crumbles into a pathetic pile of shame.

Ever since you came,
My thoughts were overwritten with your name.

It's a one-sided thing,
As per usual.
What's so surprising?

But I'm not hearing it from your lips.

Don't confirm my fears,
The daunting truth I've been escaping for years.
Don't say it because it hurts.
And I may not be able to control my tears.

So hush now,
I don't want to hear anymore.
Let's talk about something else:
What kinds of girls do you adore?

Wait, I know it already.
Someone who's nothing like me -
Petite, slim and pretty,
All I want to be.
All I will never be.

Why did I ask that anyway?
Perhaps I was hoping for another answer,
Holding on to the string of hope that you might, that you may,

Just
Just maybe

Return my feelings of attraction,
Even if it's simply a fraction.

The veil of denial covers me whole,
I prostrate myself with attempts to self-console,
throughout my escapade with escapism.

But I can't keep running away,
Because one day,
I'll hear the words I never wanted you to say.

The overwhelming truth will be too hard for me to handle,
And my existence will vanish just like the flicker of a candle.