He'll never know

Don't give up

Hannah's PoV

I stand in shock. Joel was there all that flipping time. I drop the knife. Paralyzed. Petrified. Pissed. How could I reassure Joel that things aren't what they seem. But, there's no denying it. It's just I feel so oppressed all on my own. Isolated. Left to fend for myself. Left to keep myself company. No one will ever understand what is going through my mind. I just wish the accident took me, not my whole family. The wrong people died that horrendous day. It should of been me. I just have to keep telling myself that one day I will be with the ones I love with all my heart.

"Hannah..." Joel looks lost, he doesn't know what to say.

"I'm sorry." I try to hold back my tears.

"Don't be." He walks up to me, grabs a few tissues and puts pressure on the cuts. He's trying to be gentle, trying his best not to cause any more pain. I start to weep into Joel's shoulder, the agony overwhelms me.

"I can't do this anymore. I have given up on myself just cause I can't bare this darkness within myself anymore."

"But what about your friends, what about your family?..."

I interrupt, " My family is dead.. My friends don't want to deal with my shit."

"God, Hannah I didn't realize. I am terribly sorry." Joel replies quickly.

"It's not your fault, everyone else seems to say the same. That everything in my life is fucking perfect like some Disney fairy tale. Awesome newsflash, it flipping isn't."

He takes a moment and just holds me.

"Well least you aren't alone anymore, you have me. You will always have me." I squeeze Joel even harder, no one has ever been this kind to me since the accident.

*Ding dong*

Ryan's PoV

Me and Andy stand out Hannah's door. We left Adam to look after the party. But it's more like the party is looking after him. Joel opens the door, as expected.

"Dude you can't just bail on us like that especially on the eve of Christmas Eve" Straight away Andy is on him like a predator.

"I'm sorry, I should've came and told you I had to leave.."

"HAD TO LEAVE? I'm sorry but how can you bloody say getting a girl in bed is a good enough reason to leave your best mates, your band members, your only family." I suddenly realized what I just said, feelings of guild slide down my throat.

"You're such a bloody hypocrite! And you don't have the right to judge me like that. Something inside told me Hannah was in danger so I just had to make sure she was safe!"

"Mate you should of just told us, we could of came with you." Andy says calmly.

"I thought you'd think I was going mad, or you'd want me to stay at the party and stop worrying."

"Why would Andy say that?" I asked.

"Well you know... With what's happened with Emz and all.."

"Joel! Are you okay, who is at the door?" Hannah shouts from upstairs. Even when she shouts her voice sounds like it belongs to an angel.

"I'm fine, it's just Ryan and Andy!"

"Ooh, hang on a sec!" She comes walking down the grand staircase. She looks stunning. She's got her bronze hair up in a messy bun that looks awesome. Her grey jogging bottoms and her Brazil World Cup crop top look very cute on her. And her face is natural, no signs of imperfections or makeup.

"Hey guyss" Hannah sure sounds so damn sexy.

"How you doing?" Andy smugly says. Hmm, it's strange. I remember the day we met her how he dismissed he in our conversations. It's just I could've sworn he was still was head over heels with Emily despite the fact it has been a whole year since the...situation.

"I'm.. fine, thanks" Hannah gives Joel a quick glance, he replies the glance with a concern look. I wonder what's been happening. It must be pretty serious. So I guess it's up to me whether I want to find out or not.

Andy's PoV

God damnit Hannah looks so much like Emily with her hair up and her hips are so fi-ine, she has the same perfect figure..For christ sake I need to get it out of my head. No one can ever replace Emily and that's end of.

"Do you guys want to come in?" Hannah gestures into her mansion.

"Thanks for the offer, maybe another day. Me and Andy left Adam in charge of the party and I doubt its much of a party now so we'd better head back. Been great seeing you."

"Yeah, Cheerio." I say with a stern, steady voice remembering what I told myself. Anyway, what's the chances she'd ever take to me? It looks like she's Joel's bird already so it really doesn't matter anymore.