Circumlocution ≫ Jarchie

[Chapter Seventeen]

Present

"I'm sorry about how I left you." Archie sighs.

"I think you've said that already." Jughead snorts.

"No. You don't really get it. You think I'm just saying it but I really wish I would've stayed with you. I really wish I did but I couldn't have known how things would turn out."

"Yet again, you're speaking as if I know what you're referring to but I don't." Jughead sighs.

"If I stayed, what do you thing would've happened with us?" Archie mumbles, looking over to Jughead for a split second who actually seems to be contemplating it.

"If it were a perfect world, we'd be unstoppable." He finally says after a few moments of thinking.

"How so?" Archie smiles, liking the sound of that.

"I'd be at NYU at the top of my class and you'd be somewhere down south playing football for an awesome school and we'd talk and FaceTime everyday because our bond would be just that strong. Some days you and me would go and visit Jelly Bean at college and you'd force me to go to therapy so I could get better and we'd be happy. In a perfect world we'd be happy." Jughead says quietly.

"In a perfect world we'd be happy." Archie repeats.

"But the world isn't perfect. Instead I'm destroying my body with drugs with the hope of speeding up my death and having sex at least once a day to distract myself from how much I don't want to be here, and you're playing football in London which is fucking crazy considering football is a predominantly American sport." Jughead mumbles.

That last comment makes Archie laugh, which he immediately regrets considering the first half of that sentence was anything but funny. It's just that Jughead has a point, his alibi really makes no sense at all and he's surprised Jughead didn't try and question it further.

"They're trying to get good at it." Archie snickers.

Jughead just looks at him incredulously before shaking his head chuckling a bit. "I can't with you."

"You know, this is the happiest I've been in months. I feel like after today I can die happy."

"Wow that's extreme."

"So you're really not happy to see me?" Archie pouts.

"I wasn't at first. At first I was contemplating how much force I would need to throw myself out of the windshield head on. But it's hard to hate you and I hate how hard it is to hate you because I should hate you. I should hate you so much. I blame you for something that Isn't totally ALL your fault."

"Can't you just tell me what I did?" Archie groans.

"We have a whole hour left of driving. I'm not going to ruin the good place we're in until the very end." Jughead laughs.

"I see your point. What do we do until then?"

"Pretend that the world is perfect and that we're happy." Jughead mumbles.

"And what does that entail?" Archie raises an eyebrow.

"That you can kiss me because that would be normal in our perfect world." He smirks.

"Really? I can?" Archie says excitedly, gripping onto the steering wheel and staring at Jughead with wide eyes for a split second.

"Damn I didn't even get that reaction when I suggested we have sex." Jughead laughs.

"No because I was scared to have sex with you because I know before you were always uncomfortable about it and yeah the sex turned out to be, fuck fantastic actually, but I just really miss kissing you." Arching rambles, blushing a rift read as Jughead stares at him with a cute grin on his face.

"Then you should pull over so you won't have to miss it anymore." Jughead giggles, and Archie does as he's told. He gently pulls over to the side of the mostly vacant highway and bites his lip nervously, the faint glow of the streetlight illuminating his face.

"Juggy." Archie whispers.

"Mhm?"

"I'm still head over heels in love with you. I know you're never going to believe that no matter how many times I say it, but I really, really, really love you." He says gently, not daring to look at the raven haired beauty next to him.

"Arch..."

"I don't do much with my life except move around from a bench to a chair to another bench to a bed. It's not that exciting, trust me. But then I think about you and the possibility of seeing you again or kissing you again and it seems worth it. You're all I think about it. It's kind of creepy actually. When I'm bored I read the book you wrote for me and when I'm sad I look through the pictures of us on my phone and on days when I really feel like I can't do this anymore I contemplate calling you but then think better of it because I have no right to come into your life and fuck it all up again. I did enough of that the first time. I love you so much. You don't get how much you mean to me, you don't get how much seeing you today made my whole life 1000 times better. You don't get it. I can't stop loving you."

It's only then when Jughead realizes the redhead is crying. A gasp falls out of his mouth as Archie starts to sob, and Jughead isn't sure what to do. Jughead has never seen Archie cry before. Usually Jughead was the one doing the crying and he was the one doing consoling. Jughead takes a deep breath before unbuckling his seatbelt and reaching over to the redhead tentatively, wiping away some of his tears.

Archie seems to relax a little bit with his touch and sneaks a glance at Jughead who is still wiping away tears with concern. "I'm sorry."

"Shh." Jughead sighs while taking thumb and caressing the redhead's cheek softly.

"This has been one of the best nights of my life." Archie sniffles.

"Didn't I tell you to be quiet?" Jughead scolds playfully.

"I'm sorry it's just that you're not saying anything and I'm trying to gauge your reaction." He says sheepishly.

"What do you want me to say?" Jughead sighs, taking his hand off of Archie's face and getting back into his seat.

"Whatever you feel like saying."

"Well I feel like saying that I believe you, but I don't feel the same." Jughead huffed while playing with his hands.

"You're lying. I don't which part is the lie, but I know you're lying." Archie mumbles. "You're doing that hand thing." He explains, gesturing towards Jughead's hands.

Jughead blushes and immediately stops playing with them. "I forgot that I do that."

"I didn't." Archie smiles weakly before turning on the car blinker and getting ready to turn back onto the highway.

"What about the kiss?" Jughead asks, trying to hide the pout in his voice but it doesn't work.

"I don't think I want to kiss you if you don't feel the same. I think that would make me selfish. You shouldn't do things for me." Archie furrows his eyebrows.

"But I was doing it for me!", Jughead wants to scream, but he doesn't. He just nods and puts his seatbelt on, allowing Archie to turn onto the parkway and continue their journey.

Archie turns the radio on and starts humming softly as Jughead looks out the window and wonders what would've happened if Jughead told the truth, if Jughead told Archie that he still loved him too.

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Almost done with this book. 25 chapters in total. I spent all weekend writing them. And it was my birthday weekend that's how much i care 😢

This is definitely going to be a book that I'm going to edit and add better writing to because ugh the writing itself kind of sucks compared to the dialogue.