Chapter 5 "Broken Heart"

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I found myself on that evening the day Ian told me he has a girlfriend laying on the bed and listening to sad songs.

I didn’t even know what I’m feeling. Then suddenly the song, “try sleeping with a broken heart by Alicia Keys” played.

I messaged the lyrics to my friends, “have you ever tried sleeping with a broken heart? Well you could try sleeping in my bed.”

I lay there. I kept thinking. Then I felt something in my chest. It was like I couldn’t breathe at all. And that’s when I realized, I have fallen in love with Ian. Something I have never expected.

 Was I in love with him all the time we were together? I didn’t even know the answers to all my questions. All I know is Ian has a girlfriend and it hurts me.

It hurts me more to think that we wouldn’t spend much time together now.

I became pathetic as I stalked Ian’s girlfriend on facebook even though she’s not my friend and has private profile. I didn’t dare to add her as a friend because I was bitter I admit.

She was pretty and obviously smart that made me more jealous of her.

 I always check on her profile picture which was mostly her and Ian. And as I have noticed, Ian was extremely happy whenever I see him. It seemed like he didn’t really know I still exist.

At first, it hurt a lot. But as time passed by, I learned how to get used to it. I slowly let go. I realized that maybe I was just too close to him back then that I started to get too attached to him. And eventually, fell in love.

Days have passed. Weeks turned into months. The old gang (ian, me and paula) grew apart due to individual reasons like being busy and the like.

The three of us hanging out became close to impossible. We sometimes catch up on each other during our classes together but it was never the same. We created separate worlds of our own.

Ian was busy being the president of the student council and having a not so long distance relationship. It seemed that he made time for her even though he’s busy. Pictures of them together on facebook told me so.

Paula and I rarely go out together because of conflict of interests. Adding the absence of Andy  to one of the reasons. We found new close friends that have the same likes.

Although we belong to the same group, we talked to each other casually. Not like the old times.

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