Chasing That Holy Feeling

Chapter 6: Get Together

The unfamiliar throbbing in my heart disturbed me as I wait for her hand to take mine. She was like a cautious cat who doesn't want to get caught by a dog. It took her a few seconds before I noticed her breathe and took my hand. She shook hands with me and she smiled at me that I realized, I haven't seen a smile this... bright before.

"Friends." She mumbled and I snap out of my daydream and smiled back. "Pwede ka naman pala maging mabait e. Pinahirapan mo pa ko sa pakikisama sa pagka-isip bata mo na ugali." Ngumuso siya at literal na nalaglag ang panga ko sa sinabi niya.

"Wow. Instant changed of mood huh?" tanong ko na ikinibit balikat niya bago bumitiw sa kamay ko.

"I'm a little comfortable with you from the start and I don't know why." She confessed. "Siguro kasi you remind me of my little brother."

"Do I look like a little kid to you Miss Alivia?" nagtaas ako ng kilay na tinawanan niya naman bago umiling. Bumalik siya sa kinauupuan niya at tinapik ang tabi nito, gaya kanina, sinasabing umupo ako sa tabi niya. Sinunod ko ang gusto niya at nanatiling nag-intay sa sagot niya.

"Well you're not a kid obviously because you're now an adult and you have a nice body I must say–"

"Alivia!" saway ko sa kanya at agad na lumayo ng ilang pulgada dahil hindi ako sanay nang may ganitong kalapit na babae sa akin bukod sa kapatid ko at nanay ko at pinupuri pa ang katawan ko.

Napansin ko ang hindi ordinaryong pagtataas niya ng kilay bago humalukipkip sa harapan ko, tinititigan ako na parang isa akong painting sa isang museo. "Minsan iniisip ko kung lalaki ka ba talaga e."

"And why is that?" mapanuri kong tanong dahil pakiramdam ko'y napakarami niyang kongklusyon sa isip niya tungkol sa akin.

"Because you're too aloof? Lalo na sa mga babae sa school na parang may mga allergies sila na ayaw mo man lang kaibiganin?"

"Because I don't want to be friends with people na alam kong may hidden agenda."

"Wow. Now you're being too judgemental." Komento niya na ikinasurpresa ko. "You're just like my brother." Umiling siya at bumuntong hininga.

"You keep mentioning your brother. It seems like you miss him so much. Nasaan ba siya?"

"He died." She smiled bitterly and I saw how her face changed. "I'm a year older than him and we're happy whenever we play but one day, after my Mom died, he changed." Nag iba siya ng posisyon at komportableng hinubad ang kanyang vans at itinaas ang paa sa couch na inuupuan namin. "Palagi na lang siya tulala at siya ang higit na naapektuhan sa pagkamatay ng mommy namin. I was nine years old that time and he was eight. He doesn't know a thing about what really happened. All he knows is that my mother was murdered by people who want her dead. Then one day at the beach, he drowned himself."

"I-I'm sorry for asking Alivia..." I was rendered speechless as I looked at her with that vague expression in her face. "I'm sorry for asking, really. I didn't know that that's the case. If only I knew I wouldn't–"

"That's fine, ano ka ba?" casual niyang sabi at umiling. Muli nakita ko na naman ang ngiti sa kanyang mga labi na ngayon ko lang napagtanto na hindi palaging totoo.

Smiles can be deceiving; it can hide pain while showing the world pure happiness.

"Sorry talaga..."

"Hay ang frienilyn ko ang drama!" pabiro niyang sabi at inirapan ako. Kinuha niya ang camera niya at binuksan ito. Agad ko siyang pinigilan sa gagawin niya dahil alam kong kukuhanan niya na naman ako ng picture kapag nagkaroon siya ng pagkakataono. "What?" tawa niya na ikinangiti ko.