However Soft Your Symphony

holding on

They say silence is golden, but at the moment, the silence was slowly killing Maisy. Maisy and Theo sat across from each other at Theo’s kitchen table, with the intention of having a conversation about all of the events from the previous morning. Physically, the two of them were alright. There were a few cuts and bruises, and they were certainly mentally shaken, but there was no real damage done. Emotionally, on the other hand, Maisy was simply terrified. And Theo was... frustratingly quiet.

“Penny for your thoughts?” Maisy asked, to break the silence.

“We’re soulmates,” Theo stated, his face void of emotion. Maisy rolled her eyes.   

“No shit, Sherlock.”

“Not now, Maisy,” Theo said in his exhale, clearly irritated. Maisy began to grow concerned.   

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah. I mean, not really. I don’t know...” Theo looked tired, as if he was physically exhausted from trying to keep his emotions in check. “I’m just... disappointed. And confused. This is a lot to think about. A lot to take in.”

“You can take your time,” Maisy assured him, nodding. “Think it over.”

“All this time, I thought I had found real love. I was so happy with you,” Theo continued, his eyes wide and filled with emotion. For a moment, Maisy almost felt hope. But Theo’s eyes darkened, his voice lowered, and all hope was shattered when Theo began shaking his head slowly. “But it isn’t love. It’s just another artificial infatuation. I can’t believe I was so stupid.”

Maisy shook her head frantically. “You weren’t stupid, Theo. No.”

“I was. I always told myself that if I ever met a girl I really liked, I would be careful, making sure it wasn’t just some twisted curse. And when the damn curse showed up, I was too caught up in it to notice.”

“It’s not a curse, Theo,” Maisy reached over to take Theo’s trembling hands in her own, squeezing them tightly as she spoke, her voice reassuring and certain. “This isn’t artificial. What we had- what we have is real.”

“It isn’t. It can’t be. This... This damn mark...” Theo muttered, tearing his hands away from Maisy and holding his bare wrist with the soulmate marking in front of her. Maisy was quick to grab the hand again, holding it firmly in her own, finishing his sentence.

“...means that this was meant to be. Our love is meant to be. We were doing the right thing.”

“God, Maiz, you sound just like them,” Theo said incredulously, his voice rising in volume. “Are you even a Romanticist?”

“I... Of course I am, Theo.” Maisy was quick to respond, but the hesitation was there. Even if it was for a fraction of a second, it was there, and Theo did catch on. Theo’s expression shifted quickly, and Maisy swore she felt the air in the room shift, thickening with sudden pressure. Maisy found it hard to breathe.

“You’re not,” Theo realized suddenly, eyebrows raised and mouth hanging open in shock. “Holy shit. You’re not.”

“I-” Maisy began, but she had nothing to say. Theo knew.

“You lied to me,” Theo hissed, his voice simultaneously filled with surprise and disgust. “You’ve been lying to me.”

“I didn’t want to,” Maisy kept shaking her head, panicking, desperately hoping that Theo would understand. “I didn’t want to lie,  I swear-”

“You knew...” Theo realized, speaking slowly as his mind put the pieces of the puzzle together. “This whole time, you knew.”

“Theo, I’m sorry-”

“Goddamn it, Maiz!” Theo shouted, standing up and pounding his fist on the table.  

“Listen, I can explain!” Maisy cried.

“And say what? You didn’t mean to hurt me? You knew I would brush it off if I knew the truth? I thought what we has was something real. I thought we could trust each other. But you’re just infatuated with me because of that goddamn mark. I can’t believe this. I can’t believe you.”

“Theo. Just hear me out. I-”

“No,” Theo interrupted, giving his head one solid shake. “No, I know what you have to say. And I’m not interested. And... And I think it would be best if you’d leave.”

“Theo,” Maisy pleaded.  

“And don’t come back. I don’t want to see you again,” Theo held up his wrist to Maisy, the mark bearing her own name clearly visible. “I’m going to have this removed. Don’t try and contact me.”

“Theo, just... Take a minute to think about this.”

“What more is there to think about?” Theo hissed. “Goodbye, Maisy.”

“I won’t forget you,” Maisy said, looking down at the table, her voice barely above a whisper. “And... And I do love you. Really.”

“Yeah, well,” Theo said with humorless laughter. “Find someone who gives a shit.”

Maisy let out a long breath she didn’t really know she was holding before standing up and shuffling toward the door. She looked back at Theo one last time, hoping for him to say something, to change his mind. He stood there, expression angry and solemn. Maisy frowned, turned around slowly, and left.

The walk back to her dorm was a long one, but Maisy didn’t have the money on her to catch a cab, and the phone in her pocket was dead. She didn’t mind too much, though. The fresh air gave her some time to think things through.

She arrived at her room and chose to ignore the telltale signs of the company Mei was obviously entertaining. She opened the door and made a beeline right for her bed, choosing to ignore entirely the girl currently making out with her roommate. Luckily, when the two tore apart to see what was going on, the girl examined Maisy’s current state and took the hint, sneaking out of the room with a muttered “call me” to Mei.

Mei was quick to console Maisy, asking what was wrong. Maisy couldn’t really form an answer. She cried harder than she had ever cried before.

Maisy had spent her whole life wishing for her soulmate. And then she found her soulmate, and she loved her soulmate. But now, she lost her soulmate. And she felt like her world was crumbling down around her.