A Secret

The Fall

At lunch everyone was there except Axel, which worried me because he never was absent without telling me. I couldn't even look at Loui because every time I looked at his face, it would remind me of the reply I had gotten on my laptop.

"Hey JT, you ok?" Mike asks worried.

"Yeah just...didn't have the best night yesterday," I say sighing.

"Was it cause of my party? I'm so sorry if it was, it was a complete disaster, half of the people there weren't even invited. I didn't see you after a while and I was just wondering if you were okay," Mike says.

Before I can answer though, Axel sits down next to me. I glance at him and I'm completely shocked.

He has a black eye and a split lip but that's not the worst. His hair is a mess which is completely unlike Axel and he holds an ice pack up to his jaw. He's also wearing loose clothing which is another alarm going off in my head. Axel never gets beat up, never. He may seem like an ordinary guy with an okay figure but this guy is made of steel. The only person who could beat him up like this is....

His dad.

I stare at him, gaping. I couldn't help it, what had happened? When did it happen? Why did it happen?

"Close your mouth, JT, you'll catch flies," Mike says snickering.

I glare at him, usually you'd expect a comment like that from Axel, but not today. For the rest of lunch he doesn't speak, and not just at lunch but for the rest of the day.

We stand side by getting our bikes off the rack. Axel is never driven into silence and it's absolutely making me go crazy. At times like this, he usually wants distance but I can't let this slide.

"Dude you can tell me, you've told me before, I'm not one to judge," I say, watching him closely.

"I-I'm fine, I just had a minor fight with some guys at-," he starts, but then looks at my face of disbelief,"Oh fuck it, fine. My dad was beyond just drunk yesterday when I came home and so he started telling me off about all this crap that I put him through and my mom tried to intervene. He turned on her and calling her a 'bitch' and how 'she cheats on him' and how 'he is the only one supporting the fam'. Complete bullshit." He says angrily, but then pauses.

"And you just get tired of it, you know? I couldn't stand by another day watching him say complete crap to my mom, so I....pushed him and well, you can kind of guess how it went from there..." he says, pained.

I stare at him, the normally so composed Axel almost unraveling in front of my eyes. Never in my life has I thought to see this day. I knew about his family situation but Axel was strong, and I knew he could protect himself as well as his mother and sister but I guess I was wrong.

Even steel can crumble, even the mighty can fall.

"Hey...about that offer you've given me. I'm taking up on it, I need a place to stay. I know I should be there for my mom and sister but, my mom said I should stay out of the house for a while because of my dad. So I need a place to stay," he says, looking at me hopefully.

"Dude your always welcome at my house, you basically live there, you know how much my parents love you....for whatever reason," I say laughing.

The look of relief that spreads across his features, soothes me in a way. Axel and I had been friends for as long as I could remember, he was my other half, another brother to me. Our mothers had been friends since college and I can't believe they still are. Most people grow apart after a while but, nope not our parents.

There was a point where I hadn't gone to school with Axel, but that never stopped us from seeing one another. Almost every single memory I had was with Axel and just imagining him fading away from the picture, made me feel....empty inside.

*******

"So Axel, have you been enjoying senior year so far?" my mom says smiling at him.

We sat at the table eating dinner, it almost seems like Axel is part of the family. Except the fact that he has blonde hair and grey eyes, contrasting to our dark brown hair and blue eyes. But you know, close enough.

I stare at the empty seat beside me, and I feel a deep piercing inside my heart. Why had it come to this? What's the point in living a life locked inside a room?

A shake out of my reverie and zone back in on the conversation. My parents as well, treated Axel as if he were another son. It was amazing how much our bond was as a family.

After dinner, Axel and I help wash the dishes and after that we head upstairs. I pause at my brothers room, I wanted to do something. I was angry at him. For causing me and my parents all this worry and stress. I was angry at him for locking himself out.

I know it's wrong, I could never be able to handle the situation he's in but...why? Many days when I hear my mother crying when she thinks I can't hear or the days they try coaxing something out of him....it's painful. To be privileged while someone else is suffering quietly.

I'm just another insignificant in the world, another bystander who can't do anything but claim there sorry or wishing they could help.

The world moves on, and it forgets. Everything eventually dies in the end, along with the memories...

I snap myself out of the darkening mood and hastily go to my room.
******

"I'll sleep on the floor if you'd like," I offer Axel.

"I just wanna sleep," he says shrugging.

"Remember whenever we were younger, we'd do everything together? Even sleep together," I say laughing at the memories.

"Duh, how could I forget? Here we could do that now," he says jumping on the bed beside me.

"Weirdo, get off," I say pushing him and laughing.

"Your a meanie," he says accusingly.

I can't help but laugh at Axel, his face is screwed up and he's pouting with his arms folded across his chest. The previous rainstorm that clouded my mind earlier, long gone.