dr iceberg walked into his office with a clipboard. on it, a sheet of lined legal paper. there are two phrases, both heavily underlined.
"MUPPETS" and "SEE SCP-049 IMMEDIATELY."
iceberg looks at his options for how to spend his afternoon.
"fuck, i could be watching the muppets.... or i could do my job. either way, it'll boost my mood lol"
so iceberg starts watching the fuckin muppets.
the PA comes on: "DR. ICEBERG YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO BE HELPING US WITH SCP-049. NOT WATCHING KERMIT THE FROG."
"what the hell its NOT KERMIT THE FROG. its just the muppets. damn normies" iceberg growled. he was tired of having to explain that kermit and muppets, while intersecting concepts, were not the same thing exactly. kermit was not the only muppet.
iceberg took his monster energy drink and head off to see scp-049.
"Hey icedweeb lol" bright chided.
"hey you fucking cuck, what do you want" iceberg replied.
"Dude can you lend me like, 400 dollars? the miku tickets were a bit much and now i need to pay my rent" said bright.
iceberg was pissed off now for three things. the muppets thing, being called a dweeb, and having to give money to bright for his rent.
"i'd say no to you, bright, but i know that you could probably find a way to manifest in my home and steal the money anyway, so here. take my money AGAIN."
so finally they get to 049's cell and pause outside the door.
"Hahaha you have to fucking check up on 049?! so basic. well, i want to see what you even do so ill come with you" bright said.
"id much rather you not" moaned iceberg. he was tired of dealing with bright this week.
"i have nothing else to do, dude!" bright laughed, ignoring the multiple piles of paperwork he had to do.
"You will just tamper with 049 and try to make him play games with you again. i saw a video where you intercepted a test with a few d-class dudes and started playing tag with 049 until he got angry and sulked away."
so bright rolled his eyes. "i wont fucking play games then you stick in the mud. ill sit on the sides lol"
they went in, 049 perked up and looked at the two men. once he saw bright, however, he crossed his arms.
"You again." he said.
"Me again buddy!" bright cheered. "say, 049 you want to .... wait. iceberg dont listen. ok 049 come with me to 079's chamber and come play minecraft with me lol."
"What the hell is minecraft" 049 said.
"049 don't pay attention to a fucking guy like him." iceberg shook his head.
"ok" the scp replied.
"ugh. ...BRIGHT YOU MADE ME FORGET WHAT I HAD TO DO WITH 049 AND I LEFT MY PAPERS IN THE OFFICE." iceberg said. he was so tired and thsi was making it worse.
"hee hee! not my problem" bright ;aughed
"god i hate you. ill just ad lib it. ALRIGHT. SCP-049. i am here to talk to you today and learn some.sshit. question one: are you-" iceberg started
"GAY??!" bright interrupted.
".... yes, FINE. are you gay. i assume you understand the concept of homosexuality." iceberg said.
YOU ARE READING
a typical week at the scp foundation
Humorgod i don't know what this is REUPLOAD FROM MY AO3
