Onika
"Where's my baby?" I asked the nurse dryly.
"She's in the NICU-"
"The what?..For what?"
The nurse gave me a sympathetic look while I just started at her dully.
"Since she was born a little earlier then she was suppose to her lungs aren't fully developed for her to breath on her own so we have her on a breathing machine-"
"Is she going to be okay?" I ask, my voice slightly cracking. I felt Meek rub small circles on my back.
And again the bitch gave me another sympathetic look. "It'll be a miracle if she is.."
"So you tellin' me my baby girl not gone fuckin' live?" I heard Meek ask with hurt and anger clear in his voice.
"I'm sorry to say this Mr and Mrs. Williams but no, unless a miracle happens-"
My heart dropped
"You tryna be smart-"
"Then you better pray and make sure that fucking miracle happens be-because if not-" I couldn't finish my sentence, I just broke out in tears.
Rihmeek pulled me into a tight hug and I cried into his neck. I could feel his hot tears drop onto my shoulder.
"I'm sorry" I her say before I heard the open then close back shut.
-
2 weeks later..
Currently I was in Rihmeek and I's room writing. I've been keeping myself in our room ever since we got back from the hospital. Of course I come out to make my kids breakfast, lunch and dinner but other than that I stay in here.
I barely talk and sometimes it hurts when I try to. I cry myself to sleep every night in Meek's arms. He seemed to have it together more than I did.
I sometimes wonder if I could've done anything better during my pregnancy that'll would've let me carry Jaelyn full term and she could have been here with me.
"Nic baby, eat somethin" Meek tried to feed me some of his alfredo.
"m'not hungry" I pushed his hand away, continuing to write in my notebook.
In my notebook I wrote down how Im feeling, what type of mood I was in, my thoughts, how I felt about myself, and I wrote a lot about Jaelyn.
I don't let anyone read what I write and they don't dare to touch it either.
"You barely ain't anything today, yesterday or the other day-"
"Rihmeek" I said clearly, ignoring the pain in my throat, looking at him what felt to be the first time in forever.
He had bags under his eyes and he looked tired.
"Leave. Me. Alone. Please" I told him.
"You know you ain't the only one who lost her right?"
I nodded, slightly getting irritated by his presence.
"She was my daughter too-"
"I know" I raised my voice a bit.
"Do you really? Cause not once did you ask me how I was doin.. for the past 2 weeks you kept to yourself not carin how I felt Nic and I been constantly askin about how you feel, makin sure you good-"
"Well I didn't asked you too" I said, smartly.
He looked at me like I just broke his heart.
He licked his lips, slowly nodding his head. "Yea I know... but I did cause you're my wife and I fuckin love you" he said before getting up and leaving out the room, slamming the door shut.
