i felt like crying, really just bursting into tears and telling mr. kim to not report us or go against our relationship.
i can't distance myself from mr. jung. i need him. i love him. really, he's a human, i'm a human what's so wrong about falling in love with him?
i can't let go of him.
so many things were going inside my head as i waiting outside the door for whatever mr. kim has to say to mr. jung.
am i overthinking this? he said he just needs to talk, it could be just about classes, and schools in general right? yes, that must be it. why else would a teacher need to talk, right?
but.. why couldn't he talk in front me if it was just school related. why did he have to send me out.
i cover my face with my shaky hands, trying to take deep breathes to at least try and relax myself from all the things rummaging inside my head.
this couldn't be the end, could it?
mr. jung and i will last longer than this, won't be? we aren't going to let the age, or the school come in between us, will we?
i just can't stop myself from thinking all the things that could potentially happen. all i could do, was wish for the best.
the door hinges made a squeaky sounds, informing me that it's opening. i became alert, standing straight, trying to force myself to stabilizing my emotions. not wanting to show feelings on my face and staying still at a poker face.
it was mr. kim making his way out of the door. i looked at him, to see if his eyes show any accusations towards to me being in a supposedly an illegal relationship.
but i couldn't tell. he didn't even looked at me, almost as if he didn't realize that i was leaning against the wall. he quickly passes by me. i don't know, if i'm worried that i didn't get to see his expression or if i'm thankful he didn't notice me which prevents me from being further questioned.
i open the door, and close it behind myself after i'd enter mr. jung's classroom. he was sitting at the edge of his desk, looking down. he instantly look up knowing the door was being opened by me.
the way he looked up to me hurt my heart. the feelings inside of me started bottling up again. his eyes had grown darker in color, as if all his happiness has been soaked out of his body. he tried to throw a small smile at me. but, no. i could see right through it. that smile had no purpose of happiness to it. that smile is not a real smile, it's just him trying to make me feel better.
i couldn't control it anymore, i couldn't act like nothing's wrong when i feel my whole world breaking down into pieces. and that's when i burst into tears.
his – already – so sad smile quickly fades as he stands up from his desk.
"baby, what's wrong?" he questioned.
i mentally groan. why! why did he have to use that word right now. it allowed me to cry even harder if that's possible.
he walked towards me, and when i realize him walking, i ran toward him as i wrapped my arms around his neck and cried.
"p-please," i choke on my own tears, "please tell me you aren't breaking up with me. tell me mr. kim talked nothing about us being in a relationship."
he didn't say anything, instead he pats my back, trying to calm me down but the tears just won't stop.
"relax," he softly whispers.
after few minutes, i was finally able to calm myself. i look up to him, he looks backs and tries to smile, again. again! that fake smile!
"so, mr. kim didn't say anything about us?" i asks.
he kept silence. he was looking at my face a second ago, but after i ask that question, he divert his eyes to the side, fidgeting with his lips by biting the lower one.
"what did h-he say?" i questioned, voice cracking as i was at the verge of crying again.
"he said, we shouldn't be continually our relationship. it's illicit, and if we continue he might have to report it to the principle because part of being a teacher is making sure the rules are followed. he just couldn't let it slide when he has been the witness of it."
