the rooftop / g.d

12

GRAYSON'S POV

I'm so glad I know her. The real her. Her beautiful personality and broken past. I know her story and she knows mine.

When she said we were meant to meet, that it was fate... I felt my heart race. No one has ever affected me as much as Ren. No one compares to her.

I couldn't help but stare down at her and absorb her perfect features and her flaws.

Then, I suddenly got scared. What happens when the night is over? Do we go back to our crap lives? Or will we plan more spontaneous adventures and regularly meet on the rooftop?

Being with Ren made me forget about the reality that awaits us. It terrifies me. I don't want the night to end, and yet we're so close to the New Year. Midnight is right around the corner.

What will happen next year?

Will she see Tyler again? Will I be kicked out of the apartment building? What if I can't find a job on time? I'll have to go back to Jersey and beg my parents for help. Fuck.

"Grayson?" Ren breaks me out of my thoughts.

I will never get over her saying my name.

"What's your happiest memory?" I blurt out, wanting a break from my scary thoughts and our revealed pasts.

Ren looks taken aback at the question, not expecting it. She sighs, biting her lip in concentration.

Don't stare at her lips, Grayson.

Ugh, I wish that asshole never called. Now, the moment to kiss her is gone.

"Oh, I know." She realises happily and I listen intently. "My mom used to work at the Xerox Tower on the top story. One day, she took me and showed me the view and... seeing everything from that height at such a young age was amazing to me. It seemed like the world was so big and beautiful.

"From that moment, I've loved views. That's why I spend almost every night on the rooftop at our apartment. The view doesn't compare to the one from the Xerox Tower but its still something that reminds me of my mom."

Her memory gives me goosebumps. It's kind of powerful actually, and incredibly touching.

"That's very...touching."

She laughs through her nose. She's so pure.

"You think?" She wonders and I nod.

"Yeah." As I imagine a young Ren staring at the view, I see the world through her eyes. Exciting. Larger than life.

"But I had high expectations of the world back then. I mean now... I see the world as scary and shitty." She gasps, shaking her head.

"Not all of it is." I raise an eyebrow, thinking about the small percent of beauty in the world. I look at Ren and I see the beauty in the world.

"I guess. But yeah... every time I think of that memory, it makes me happy. I was an innocent kid and saw the good in everything. I just wish I still could." She speaks sadly and I frown.

Ren has been through hell and back. She's strong, independent. She doesn't associate with the happiness of her young self and it upsets me.

The world and the people who were meant to love her endlessly tainted her mind.

"Maybe, the people you surround yourself with could change that." I suggest, hoping I could be that somebody to excite her again.

She smirks and pushes at my shoulder. "People like you?" She bites her lip.

I feel the redness heat in my cheeks as I gasp, looking away from her momentarily. I sigh, feeling insecure all of a sudden.

Ren's hand touches mine, causing me to turn my head to look at her hand on top of mine. I peer up at her and stares at me invitingly. 

"Because I hope so." 

Her words make me chuckle and I smile, she smiles back. She makes me feel giddy. 

"Have you ever been to the Empire State Building?" I ask after a short moment of silence. 

"No but I want to." She says in a hopeful tone. 

I thought she might've. It was the first tourist sight I went to when I arrived here. That day, my goal became to live in Manhattan. 

God she'll love it. Maybe I could take her one day. 

Her fingers grab my hand and she rests our hands on top of her stomach. I prop myself on my side and watch her play with my fingers. I can't stop staring at her. 

What is she doing to me? 

She's so intriguing and her touch sends chills throughout my body, and I love it. 

"What about you?" Her eyes meet mine. 

"What?" 

"What's your happiest memory?" 

I gulp. I think of Ethan. I think of my parents. I wish things could've always been like that. 

"My brother and I's 12th birthday." I answer. 

"Twins?" She confirms and I nod. 

We're far from close now, Ethan and I which is the sad thing. 

"What happened?" Ren asks. 

"It was the last birthday party we had together. We had so much fun and I felt equal to him. We felt like...brothers. And my parents, they were so happy. We felt like a family. Everything was perfect and we just celebrated the whole weekend." 

I reminisce sadly. 

"That was the last time we celebrated anything together again. It was the last time I felt like we were one. Tonight is the first time I'm celebrating an occasion in almost ten years... so thank you. I forgot what celebrating something felt like. " 

Ren's smile falters, squeezing my hand tighter. 

"Growing up sucks." She comments. 

Then I realise both our happiest memories were when we were kids. Kids with high hopes of happiness and love, until its squeezed out of you at the start of adulthood. 

"I know." 

"Do you think you'll reconcile with your family?" Ren wonders and I shrug. 

"I called my brother tonight for the time time in three years. It didn't end well." I say shortly, not believing we ever will reconcile. 

Ren frowns. "Why not try talk to your parents?" She suggests but I shrug. I don't think that phone call will be happening anytime soon. "It'll be okay." She murmurs. 

It already is.