the rooftop / g.d

16

trigger warning.

GRAYSON'S POV

One week too long. I missed her, more than anything. I've been so alone without her.

How has she managed to hide herself from me. He live on the same floor.

Seeing her right now in front of me fills me with happiness but then it disappears and I'm left with worry. What happened that night? Something was wrong.

When she went back into her apartment after stepping into the hallway, I felt my heart break.

I thought she'd come back to me and hug me, something. I spent that night wide awake, thinking of what I did wrong.

For a whole week, I've been thinking about her, wondering what she's been doing.

I figured she hated me and didn't want anything to do with me. What if New Year's Eve was the first and last time we were destined to be together?

That thought didn't stop me. I went to her apartment a couple times, I even waited on the rooftop every few nights. But I never saw her and I thought the worst.

The look in her eyes tells me she's missed me too. It can't be a coincidence that she went on the rooftop just as I was about to.

"I missed you." I say, gripping onto the stair well railing.

"Me too." She gulps, unsure or what to do. She has missed me, god that's a relief. "We should...we should talk."

I'm nervous. I've been anxious about this for a whole week. She walks up the stairwell and up to the rooftop. I follow her, closing the door and stare at her, shifting from foot to foot.

"That night was my fault." She whispers. "I wanted to see how quickly it would take me to freak out and realise you're too good for me." She admits.

I frown, my eyebrows furrowing. She's wrong. She is too good for me.

"Ren...why? I..." Shit, I was about to tell her I love her. "I saw what he did to you. I wanted to take the pain away. I'm sorry. I knew I shouldn't of-"

"Please... don't apologise." She says. "You were perfect. But I was too scared to see that."

"Just..." I sigh, stepping forward. "Tell me what I did wrong and...I can change. I can fix it."

"You didn't do anything wrong. That's the thing." Ren shakes her head.

"You wanted to face your fear...didn't you?" I'm scared to hear the answer.

She told me she didn't want to rush anything but... now I'm not so sure. Ren stays silent, confirming my thoughts.

"Ren, I told you, you should never feel bad if you're not ready. I thought you wanted to wait."

"I do want to wait."

"Then please tell me what happened." I beg her, wanting things to be okay. I want her to be happy. I want to take care of her.

She sighs, rubbing her face with her palms before staring at me sadly. "Everything with you that night was all I've ever wanted. But...all I could think about was all the times I wasn't ready with other guys and I was scared." She shrugs, frowning.

It hurts me knowing that she's hurt and I don't know what to do to make things better.

"When you kissed me, all over, I got a glimpse of what things between us could be like and I felt so happy but... even with you I feel like I'll never heal and when you showed me care I freaked out because I had never been treated like that before." Ren emphasises with sadness and I stare at her with worry. "I'm used to being hurt... over and over."

"You won't be hurt anymore. I promise." I tell her, truthfully.

"And I believe you." She purses her lips together before sighing.

"What's wrong?" I ask softly before I gulp, worried over her next words.

Ren composes herself, taking a deep breath. Her eyes fill with tears. "I'm scared of intimacy because... since my mom died, my father sexually abused me for seven years." She reveals and my heart pangs in my chest.

I immediately walk forward and envelope her in a tight hug, bringing her into my chest. Oh god, I feel terrible for forcing it out of her. She deserves the world.

She sobs, wrapping her arms around me. "I've never told anyone. I was scared to tell you, Gray. I don't want you to see me any different." She cries and I tighten my arms around her.

"I won't see you differently, Ren. Ever. Oh god. I'm so sorry." I coo in her ear rocking her back and forth.

"No, don't be." She whispers, pulling away and wiping away her tears. "I'm sorry I pushed you away."

I shake my head. "You didn't."

"I don't deserve you, Grayson."

"But you deserve happiness. And I want to give it to you." I tell her and she gives me a smile. I love her smile.

God, I hate her dad. I fucking despise the man. How could anyone in their right mind do that to their child? It makes me sick. Im so glad Ren left him and he'll never see her again.

"Are you staying?" She changes the subject and I don't blame her. I already know what she means by her question.

"Yes." I say with a smile.

She gasps excitement. "What? You paid it off! Did you find a job?"

"Not yet but, I contacted my parents and they helped me out. They actually said they were proud of me." I reveal, thinking of the phone call I made, reaching out to them.

"Really?"

"It's all thanks to you really. If you hadn't encouraged me to reconcile with them again, I probably never would've called them." I shrug.

Ren gives me a tight hug. "I'm so happy." She sighs and I hug her back. I'm glad. She deserves to be happy, always. "I'm so happy you're staying. I don't know what I would've done if you'd left."

"You don't need to worry." I chuckle, pulling back.

Her eyes gleam with joy and I don't think I'll ever get over seeing how happy she gets. I can't wait to make her mine one day. I don't want to rush into anything with her yet though. I respect her and her decisions.

I want to show her how much I love her without saying it. And I think I know exactly what to do.

"Can I take you somewhere?" I ask and she tilts her head in amusement. There's the sarcastic Ren I met.

"Are you asking me on a date?" She raises an eyebrow, crossing her arms over her chest.

"Pftt no." I deny, sheepishly but she lets it go for my sake. "Is that a yes?" I ask, in a hopeful tone.

She purses her lips together before nodding.

"Let's go." I hold my hand out and she takes it. "Ren?"

"Yeah?" She looks at me.

"Whenever you're ready, I'll be too." I tell her.

"I know. I trust you."

I love her so much.