Popcorn. A word that reminds me of my opposite state of a hyper energetic heart and brain.
In this moment, I hate this. So much.
The idea of looking for sap stories, beautiful ship edits and shoujo manga come to my mind. But I doubt it will cheer me up right now.
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Who fights the earl of control?
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Can I just be a vain person? I'm tired of the other attributes of character I have. They make me exhausted.
I'm tired of worry. I'm tired of working hard. I'm tired of gain knowledge that they don't appreciate. I'm tired of being the unique one who feels isolated. I'm tired of the insecurities. I'm tired of the appeasement.
I'm tired of the fact that I can't help it.
To me. If I do anything else. Other than appeasement not accepted. It gets yelled at. And they hold the most highest control. So what am I.
And every time. I'm tired about thinking about this.
Insecurities. Are trash. Expectations for knowledge must be trash. But it's advancement.
So then how will I ever advance? After being degraded and controlled. I don't think I can.
An escape offer this. But is that really the answer. What continues? what stays?
... ugh thinking. I hate thinking...
Right. To be vain. It would eliminate all my other worries and give me simple worries.
And sometimes I need to be vain because I think my beauty lacks. "I don't care" this is why I can't always be vain.
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In physics, we're learning about waves. So you know the basics when you get there: A transverse wave goes side to side (or up and down). Like how an ocean wave moves. A longitudinal wave expands and compressed. Sound is an example of it.
Anyways. My thoughts pondered and produced this trash thinking....
A wave changes but the water stays the same. So life changes but unfortunately the things that ruin the world in your eyes, stay the same.
