Bulletproof ain't my type

Why so serious?

Fa Fengh is weird.

Bat-shit crazy.

She wears those teeny-tiny clothes and sits on the sand with her legs in a split, a laptop and innumerable papers placed between them. She holds a sheet of paper in one hand, eyes glued to the screen as if comparing their contents. A pencil in her hand hovers near the paper and there's another smaller one tucked behind her ear. The air around her crackled with seriousness, the whole ensemble so misplaced in the jolly atmosphere all around I felt bad for having a good time. She had been doing that same thing for the past few days and to say that I was a little curious would be an understatement. The number of times I had risked taking a peek I was met with endless columns of numbers and percentages and more rounded numbers.
      Curiosity is a bitch. I thought I could take a quick peek from over her shoulder and satisfy myself. I went to stand behind her, bending so I could read the text on the screen and put my hands on my knees. I couldn't make out the words because I was standing too far and decided it couldn't hurt to move closer.

I always end up regretting my life choices.

As I moved closer, the shadow of my form fell on the paper in her hand. It happened in the span of one measly second. Without turning she swept one foot back in an arch, causing me to fall. The same leg pinned me to the ground -ankle on my stomach- and the other joined it by coming around my other shoulder so her knees knotted on my chest in a headlock. I thought I was going to die because her thighs were fucking strangling me. They were squeezing around my throat and just as quickly as it happened, the pressure was gone. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a figure pointing in my direction and laughing.

Park Jimin, don't you dare.

But of course he fucking dares. And I will never hear the end of it.

One measly second to soil my pride for a lifetime.

I start to cough just as the limbs loosen their hold and a voice softly speaks,
"....sunbae?"

I pushed her limbs off my body and moved a safe distance away. I didn't jump to my feet because of the sudden pain in my back. I swear if she broke something-

"What were you doing?"

What was I expecting, an apology?

"What do you mean what was I doing?", I exclaimed incredulously, "why were you trying to kill me?". Fa Fengh is hell bent on ending my life and no one can change my mind.

"You surprised me"

"Surprised you?!", I exclaimed in disbelief. And she couldn't just get surprised like a normal person? "That's why you went all Jackie Chan on me?", scaring the living daylights out of me because of a little surprise?

She nodded.

We're dealing with a lunatic here.

But as much as I despised her, there was this nagging thought at the back of my mind that she was right about the whole Namjoon-Nara thingy. She had the air of a responsible adult and when I saw her in action during Nara's sleepwalking (sleepwalking?) episode, I was more than sure of the fact. The vision of a ghostly pale Nara cold as ice and soaked through with nothing but a bathrobe on her self still burned in the back of my mind. Actually, it wasn't in the back of my mind at all. It looked right in front of my eyes, twisting into worse scenarios every time I saw her face. Smiling huge like she didn't have a care in the world when her sleeping habits are bordering close to a disorder.
Sleepwalking, nightmares, things that lead to actions no one can explain. The bathroom was a flood from what Namjoon told me. Was she trying to drown herself? In that sub-conscious state?