Butterflies

Skinny Love

sorry this has taken so long and that it's not too good but it's something... 

~~

"You need to play that for Ed," Selena gushed after I finished playing the song for her.

I blushed. "But what if he says no? Says no to me and no to us and doesn't want to be friends or be on my album or have anything to do with me? I don't know if I could deal with that."

"You are Taylor Freaking Swift. There is no way he would say no to you. Plus, I've seen the way he looks at you. He clearly feels the same way. Classic case of skinny love."

I let a small smile on y face. "You seriously think so?"

"I seriously, one-hundred percent do."

"I guess that means I'll have to invite him over sometime, then. I'll call him and see if he can come over tomorrow."  I picked up my phone and dialed his number. On the third ring, he picked up.

"Swifty, what's up?"

My stomach fluttered at the sound of his voice. "Uhm..." I cleared my throat. "I was just wondering if you were doing anything tomorrow?"

"Actually, I am. I'm flying back to the UK to record some stuff. I was actually jsut about to call you to tell you."

I deflated a little but then perked up a little. He was going to call me just to let me know he was leaving? Would just a friend do that?

"Oh. Okay. Yeah, that's fine. We can totally just hang out another time."

"Yeah, I'll be back next Friday. We can hang out then?"

"Absolutely. See you then! Bye," I smiled.

"Bye Swifty," and he hung up.

"So?" Selena asked.

"Next Friday. He's recording in the UK this week."

"Well that's a long time to wait to confess your love. Want some cookie dough?" She pulled a tub of refrigerated cookie dough from one of her grocery bags. 

I sighed and went to get some spoons. Why did love have to be so difficult?

When I walked back out into the living room with our spoons, Selena had disappeared. There was a note on the couch. "Bedroom."

I went upstairs to my bedroom and saw Selena laying on my bed, under the covers with my TV on and the DVD player on with the TV displaying the Love Actually DVD menu. 

"Girls night!" she announced.

I climbed into bed next to her and handed her a spoon.

"So how are you feeling?" she asked as she hit play. We had seen this movie so many times that it didn't matter if we talked through the majority of it; it just filled in our occasional gaps of silence. 

"Well, I guess I'm just nervous that he'll reject me and that could certainly ruin our friendship. But, at the same time, I'm so excited. I can't seem to keep the butterflies from my stomach when I think about him and telling him and singing this song to him. I don't want to like him as much as I do, you know? But it's not like getting swept away is much of a choice," I smiled just thinking of him. "I kind of like that, actually..." I grabbed my journal off my bedside table and wrote, "Getting swept away isn't much of a choice." Maybe I could work that into a song later. 

"Yeah, I know how you're feeling. Definitely not fun." Selena said as she spooned more cookie dough into her mouth. "I'll be right back. I left my grocery bags downstairs."

I watched the movie, wondering if I would ever actually find real love.