I am standing on top of a building. Feeling the cold wind whip my long raven hair around my face and sending a chill down my spine. I turned to face the clock, 11:59. It is so close and yet the next minute seems to go on and on. I recall the memories that lead me to do this, to end my existence. However, before i do so, I wonder if death will bring me the peace I seek. The past few years of my existence have been hell. 6 years ago my Mother died of cancer, just two months after she was diagnosed. The second I heard the news of my Mothers death my heart started to crack. I did not cry, no, I couldn't. The second my eyes would start to water, my Father would smack me across my face and say "Caring is weakness James, we must be strong." he then said "Do not show your weakness." he'd snap. I feel a tear slide my cheek at the memory, I don't move it away. I am dying soon and I will die as I please. Since my Father did this I have not cried, until now. My brothers were devastated at the news. I told Charlie (my older brother) to be strong with me because I couldn't do it alone. The next morning, he was gone and so were his things. Charlie abandoned me, with my abusive Father, my A.D.D twin brother Nick and my 3 year old brother Flynn.
A year later my heart started to break when my Father died in Iraq. I still remember the letter the government sent, the words are seared in to my brain..
Ms. James Gates,
We are terribly sorry to inform you that you Father, Lt Magnus Richard Gates was KIA.
Sincerely,
The General
I fell to my knees, and was about to cry when my Father's voice popped into my head. Telling me the same thing he always told me. That was when my fuse went off, I stormed in to my Father's old study. I ripped apart his research, throwing his books across the the room. I grabbed the lamp and crushed in my hands in anger. AFTER EVERYTHING THAT MAN DID TO ME, I screamed at my self in my head. That was when Nick walked in, he has the same raven colored hair and the same deep brown eyes. Seeing to blood on my hands he took me to the hospital and had the glass removed.
That was not what started to break my heart. When i was 17, a couple of months after my fathers death. I was driving Flynn home from his basketball practice. We were at an intersection, and someone from behind us hit the back of the car. It wasn't too hard just enough to push us out into the intersection. The last thing i see before I black out, is a semi-truck coming full speed towards us. I woke up in the ambulance, with Flynn dead by my side, I still didn't cry. My father's voice still playing in my head. The tears were falling from my eyes now, my face wet, i felt my soul somewhat lift from lifting years of pain from my shoulders. But my broken heart was still there, what sent me over the edge? Loki died, on the dark world. I watched him die in my arms, his splotchy black and and white skin. His last words were 'I love you', that was when my heart shattered to a million pieces.
I'm shaking from my sobs now. However, all I have to do is wait...wait... and wait, until the clock strikes twelve.
The First Strike
"Finally." I say, I feel euphoria spread through me. I now know my pain will be over soon.
The Second Strike
I float my foot over the edge of the tower, and look below me.
The Third Strike
I lose balance and stumble back towards the face of the clock.
The Fourth Strike
" If there is some reason you want me to stay,that you have some unknown purpose for me," I say to the sky "Show me Now." I wait.
The Fifth Strike
"Or I'll jump," I finish still facing the sky.
The Sixth Strike
I wait for an answer.
The Seventh Strike
"Have it your way." I say bringing my toes to the edge of the clock tower.
The Eighth Strike
I turn my self around and put my arms up facing the clock.\
The Ninth Strike
I close my eyes and take a deep breathe.
The Tenth Strike
I left my self fall back with my eyes still closed.
The Eleventh Strike
As I hear this I am falling backward.
I fall for what feels like forever, though i know its just for a split second. I feel the wind of my fall envelope me, I open my eyes and see the full moon and the stars painted across the sky. What a way to die, I think to my self. My arms are above me and my knees slightly bent, my raven colored hair swirls around my head like a whirl wind. I close my eyes again. I feel my head and back hit the road below me. I hear my cranium crack and my spine snaps.
The last thing I feel is pain then a sudden relief.
The last thing I taste is my own blood in my mouth.
The last thing I see is the blackness behind my eye lids
The last thing I smell is iron and salt.
But... the last thing I heard is the The Twelfth Strike of the clock I jumped off.
I now let death take me, I greet death with open arms as I would an old friends
YOU ARE READING
Broken (Loki love Story)
Fanfiction"I never understood why my brother choose love over family." he said grabbing my arm, he head snaps towards him. "You mean like you did with Jane?" I said pouring my anger in to my words, "You choose love over family AND CONDEMN HIM FOR DOING THE SA...
