Broken (Loki love Story)

Illness

       Over the next few weeks no more memories returned, its as if there were a block in my head. Trying to keep out the memories that caused me to become what I am now. I'm sitting in my meadow, I have not felt well this past week. I have not been able to keep anything down, even the smell of coffee makes me gag.  I have not told Nick or Loki of my illness, I do not want to worry them, I'm sure it will pass soon enough. Nick has a job that keeps him up for practically days at a time and Loki's worried enough about me already. He treats me like I'm a china doll with a crack, frail an fragile, that even the slightest touch can make me break. I am currently on the couch in the sitting room with a blanket over me, I sigh as Loki enter's the room. "What's wrong darling?" he asks me, sitting down on the same couch by my feet putting his hands on my shins.
"I feel over coddled." I tell him with some attitude in my voice,"I feel perfectly fine."
"Nick said you need your rest." He reached and tried to pull the blanket over me, I push his hands away.
"This is ridiculous." I say getting up, "I going to do something else." I roll up the blanket in my arms,"I'm done with the couch." I start to walk to my room, I'm half way up stairs when Loki bolts out of the sitting room and looks up at me.
"James stop." he says I stop at the middle of the stair looking down on him.
"What?" I ask harshly.
"Why must you be so stubborn?" he says to me, doing the head bobbing thing he does when he's annoyed. I sigh and walk back down stairs and wrap my arms around him.
"I'm fine," I say putting a hand on either side of his face. He sighs and puts his head on my shoulder, wrapping the lean arms I'm so familiar to.
"Fine." he lifts his head up and holds me closer. "At least eat some breakfast darling." I nod.
        We go into the kitchen, there are eggs, bacon, pancakes, sausage and...coffee. I feel a gag coming up, but I swallow it hard back down my throat. I give Loki a small smile, I take some of the food and sit at the table. Loki gets his own food and sits across from me, "Coffee?" He asked.
"No thanks, there's some orange juice in the fridge though." I say, seems confused by my request, he gets out the orange juice. 
"I heard you once tell me, that you go one day without coffee and you wouldn't be able to function." he remarks pouring the juice.
"I'm cutting back." A lie, I keep my face straight and my chin high and proud.
"Very well." he brings over the orange juice and hands it to me. I thanks him, he nods.
        I start to eat my breakfast, I soon realize I'm more hungry than I originally thought. Once I finish the pancakes I had, I grab fork full of egg and shove it in my mouth. It tastes horrible, normally I love eggs, but this is making me want to vomit. I put a fist to my mouth, with hopes that Loki would not notice. He looks up at me concern in his face, "Are you alright darling?" I nod, another lie, I wave my hand him. "Are you sure?" another nod, another lie. I start to feel the vomit come up my throat and I bolt to the nearest bathroom, Loki's asking me what the matter. I run into the bathroom and close it, I lift up the toilet seat and let the contents of my stomach come out of my mouth. I swish some mouth wash around in my mouth and spit that also in the toilet. I flush it, I look in the mirror. I see my raven hair back in a ponytail with strands falling in my face. My ferociously tired brown eyes stare back at me, I notice my cheeks seem to have hollowed out more since the last time I looked in a mirror. I'm panting, the taste of vomit still plagues my mouth. I hear a knock on the door, I tear my eyes from my reflection.  "James darling are you alright?" I sigh and open the door, greeted by  a worried Loki.
"No." I go back in the bathroom, and sit on the counter crossing my legs putting my elbows on my knees, running my fingers through my hair.
"What do you mean?" his eye brows practically collide with his eyes.
"I have not been able to keep any food down for a week." I finally tell him, shock and worry replace the confusion.
"Why didn't you tell me sooner?" he asked harshly.
"I didn't want you and Nick to worry about me more than you already have." I tell him, "You treat me like I'm so fragile I need to be cooped all the time." He sighs and come closer to me.
"Once Nick comes home, I'll have him run a few tests and see what he finds. Perhaps it has to do with the head trauma." I nod, sigh.
"Okay."         
        
        "Everything looks fine." Nick says, "Whatever it is, it's not from your head trauma, a virus or bacteria." I look at him confused. How could there be nothing wrong with me. Loki had to go to Asgard for a couple of days to make sure things were running smoothly. "How come I keep vomiting all the time." He scratches his head. I see a light bulb go off in his head. He grabs a jar and hands it to me, "Go pee in this." I look at him like he's insane. "What?" I say calmly but harshly.
"You heard, go!" I went and then came back and gave him the jar.
        He runs come tests and when he finally come to a conclusion , we walks over to me and sits beside me. His eyebrows are pulled together, he looks down at his feet. "Have you and Loki you know?" He waves his hand in a circle.
"What?" I ask confused, he sighs.
"Have you and Loki had sex recently?" he asks quickly, I can tell he's uncomfortable.
"Yes," I pause, "why?" My eyebrows are down and confusion.
        He tells me what it is, my mind is racing. My heart is pounding, what was I going to tell Loki? How was I going to tell Loki? How are we going to make this work? My mind is racing with questions, my hands are in my hair. I cannot decide whether I'm excited or terrified.

        Why? Because I, James Gates, am carrying Loki's child.