Broken (Loki love Story)

Possible Goodbyes

   I turn myself over on my side for the umpteenth time, I sigh and roll on my back. This has been the constant routine for the past three hours. Loki is lying on his back, I know he's awake. I feel awful for keeping him awake, I roll back on my side and put a hand on my pillow. I feel Loki stir behind me, I feel his arm wrap around my waist. A small smile spreads across my face, he kisses my temple. "Darling I love you, but you keep tossing turning I am going to file for divorce." I laugh at his comment. I feel him put his nose in the crook of my neck. Eventually his breathing slows and he falls asleep. I feel his even heart beat against my back. And fall asleep to the beat of his heart.

   I am fully clothed and sitting on my bed. I spin my wedding ring around my finger with hopes that it will calm me down. It does not calm me down, I put one of my hands on the railing of the bed to help me get up. I wince as I get to my feet, I stumble as I try to pace. I pace slowly, I rake my hands through my hair and keep my fingers entangled in my hair. I sigh, my vision becomes splotchy, I lean on the bed for support. I put a hand on my head and fall to my knees. It's getting worse, I try to take deep breaths, but they come out shaky and uneven. Loki comes in the room, shock spreads over his face as he runs to my aid. "Darling! What is it? What's wrong!" I look at him.

"I have to talk to Liam." I tell him, "now."

   Loki nods, he helps me to my feet. I put one of my arms around him, the other grabs on to his armor for dear life. Loki wraps his arms around me to hold me up and keep me stable. We walk to the family rooms dn the boys run towards us. Bae grabs my pant leg, Chai has his arms around  me from behind and Percy hold me from the front. I look down at my boys, while Loki still holds me up. "Help me to the ground." Loki helps me kneel in front of my boys. "Mommy what's wrong?" Bae asks me, his brown eyes wide.

"Nothing," I lie, "mommy's fine." I kiss Bae on the forehead, he smiles and walks away.

"Mom?" Percy and Chai are still around me.

"Come here." I tell them. They face me, I take Percy's in one hand and Chai's in the other. "Never forget how much I love you." I give the a small smile and kiss both of their foreheads. They both have tears streaming down their faces. I wipe them away, and pull them both into a hug. I ask Loki to bring me to Marina, he helps me up. I hold on to his shirt for support, we walk down the hallway. He opens the door to Marina's nursery, she's standing up in her crib. A huge smile spreads across her face, she giggles and hits the railing of her crib with her little hands. I cover my mouth to hold back my sobs, if I am wrong, I will not be able to see her grow up. I will not be able to see any of my children grow up. I feel tears stream down my face,  I limp towards her. I have to use all of my strength to hold her in my arms. I kiss her tiny head and she puts her head in the hollow of my cheek. Loki wraps his arms around me, I close my eyes and more years spill on my face. "Promise me, that if there is no cure for this. That you will raise them the best you can." I tell him.

"I promise." He says putting his chin on my head.

"Hopefully, this is not the last time I see you baby girl." I say to my daughter and put her back in her crib.

    Loki grabs hold of me and helps me out of our family chambers. We go down to halls, I wince every now and then because the pain is spreading all over the place. I lean my head into his neck, and close my eyes as we both walk. We start to go into the dungeons. 

    

     The pain of leaving my children with out a mother is to much pain to bare. I hope there is a cure.