Who Am I?

Toxic Friends

         Dealing with friends who you thought who loved you and you love them, but then find out they don't hurt, especially if you have that friend for a long time.

        When I was younger I had a friend who I would do anything with, have fun with and that was the good old days.  At that time I was too trusting and gave more chances than one should receive.

       Yes we make mistakes and I am aware of that.  To be honest my experience just made me learn more on who to trust.

        The friends that I had were to talk about me not in a good way,  and change their opinion about me just to please their other friends.   Did I know about this?  Yes.  Did this keep happening? Yes.  Did I still give them more and more chances?  Yes.

        I don't think I was really "happy" back then since I was really going through some stuff I really couldn't explain now and back then.  I do wish I was happier and not as quiet.  

       As I said I dealt with friends that were not really my friends even though they would say and act around me as if they were.  I think I was being used, and the little too trusty lil Jen did not see that.

        How I decided to drop these friends is because of a fight.   My "friends' met a new one that they wanted to impress so badly.  When I left I would here them talking bas about me to her.  Sometimes people told me that they would do that, but I just ignored them.  Later on something that basically changed my life happened.  Those people who I thought were my "friends" lied to their friend that I was talking smack about them, which I wasn't. They did it before, but I solved the situation by myself, and when I brought it up they denied it.  So the next time they did it, it ended up the other person wanting to fight me.  Event though the fight wasn't really fighting since the other person didn't come close to me, it was still a fight.  Even though I was trying to convince them I didn't do anything, it still happened.  The worst part was that my "friends" were on her side, and were insulting me.  I could not believe they would treat a friend they knew for years like trash to impress someone they knew for a few months  This was the situation where I did decide to drop them, and later on the person who was trying to fight me found out the truth.  

       I am glad that I dropped them, and I feel like my life has gotten better after that.  I was away from my toxic friends, and was away from heir bully brother also.  Even though this was a bad and unexpected experience I am glad I had it.  because of that I am happier, and know that if I don't drop friends that I am getting toxic signals immediately, then I'm just going to be sad.

      Also if you feel like it is hurting you to be with someone, drop them.  If you feel like you're always doing something wrong and not acting the way you think you're friends want you to act, drop them.  Toxic friends are only going to hut you and I know that from experience.  It hurts way less to drop a friend who doesn't deserve you than to keep them.

     Now I think I have good friends, and I can be way more open with them then before.  I like how am now, and looking back years ago, I was sad.  I'm still sad now, but way more happier than back then.  I am so happy that I can express myself more with friends who love me and will put up with my weirdness.

     To my REAL friends:  I LOVE YOU~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~