i wake up in the morning (well more like afternoon) to sun shining into my eyes and roll out of bed to eat a meal, alone. eggs and a side of jellied eyeball jam on sum toasty toast. i like being alone. i take in the peace and quiet before heading outside, alone.
i take off my undies and jump into a nice and bubbly mud bath and soak in the warmth for a long time. i scrub my naked body, getting real dirty and gross before getting out. i rub myself down with a small off-white towel and lounge on a chair, taking in the sunshine. i put on some clean (at least i think it was clean) clothes.
after lunch i sit in the bathroom for a good while because i ate a spicy bean and goat cheese burrito.... that shit messes with your bootyhole. when i'm dun i go back inside my swamp home. it's now the evening and i kind of started to dislike the silence. it made my brain hurt a little. i hook up my sweet new mp3 player to my fancy bluetooth speakers and turn the volume all the way up. All Star by Smash Mouth plays through the speakers. i dance around a little, alone, in my swamp as the sun starts to set. i truly am living the best life an ogre could live.
THE END.
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shrek's birthday surprise
Fanficshrek has an awesome birthday party! until his friends ruin it by ditching him and making out in his outhouse. but when shrek is ready to give up on the best birthday ever, he gets a special surprise ( ͡ᵔ ͜ʖ ͡ᵔ )
