The problems of being me

The reunion

Kiarahs p.o.v

its the day that I have to go to my grandma's. The day I have to wear a dress.

The day everyone will see once again my fat, stubby legs after a few months.

A lot has happened in those few months.

I have become something I despised in a person.

I have become the sad, lonely and depressed person that I so hated.

But nobody seems to understand this. Maybe, just Maybe, its because my mask of happiness I wear thick upon my face.

... or maybe they dont want to except

the fact that I don't want to smile at everything they say.

Whatever the reason, I still feel like I'm letting someone down when I don't smile at someone.

When I don't laugh at pathetic jokes.

Today, as I put on my dress, I plan out everything. How I will act, how I will avoid eating with excuses that I had memorized long ago. 

I might even give a few real smiles.

maybe.

looking in the full-length mirror is painful, but I do it anyways. I have to make sure they can't see the tired I carry behind my eyes.

They can't see just how depressed I had become. Because then... then they will start to notice.

I look over my hair, its dark strands silky and clean.

I look over my legs... is it just me or are they tiny??

I laugh at my absurdity.

You think you have gotten THIN?? hah. keep dreaming. you aren't there yet. you're still a stubby little fat ass.

I sigh.

again, sorry guys for short chapter. love any feedback.